Friday, April 17, 2009

Terribly Two

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. This morning, not long after Garrett entered into an agreement with his underwear (Hello, Wall-E underpants, I won't go potty in you because it makes you sad) he wandered upstairs where I was doing my hair.

G: I poop in my diaper.
Me: You need a diaper to go poop? (Apparently he's afraid of pooping in the toilet.)
G: No. I go poop in my diaper. I did.
Me: You're not wearing a diaper.
G: (looking a little surprised) I pooped in Wall-E.

Let's just say that it was everywhere. I ended up with poop on the toilet seat, poop in the bathtub and poop on the floor. High times.

He has also been decidedly two lately. This means that he does not listen to me. I must sound like every adult on Charlie Brown because Garrett does not hear me--or he just doesn't care. He got put in time out this morning because he dumped the dog's water all over the place. I sat him on his stool in the middle of his room and told him not to get up. By the time I was back from checking on the baby, the stool was empty. I sat him back on it and held him there while he wailed. When he finally stopped crying I attempted reasoning with him. "If you stay here for two minutes without crying and without getting up, I will let you out of timeout." Then I went next door, to the playroom, and started picking up toys. Suddenly, I heard his voice.

G: I'm on my stool.
Me: Good. Just another minute.
G: I'm on my stool.
Me: (To myself) Why does it sound like he's getting closer?
G: I'm on my stool.
Me: (To myself) Clearly he's walking toward me. What a little liar.
G: I'm on my stool.
Me: (Whirling around to greet his voice, which is now in the room with me.) NO YOU ARE NOT--

There he stood, four feet from me, holding the stool to his butt.
To answer the question left a few times in my comment section, Matthew's birth father filed his case in a particular court that does not often deal with adoption and with a judge who may not be familiar with adoption law. We went on the offensive and filed in a court with a judge who has a great deal of experience with California adoption law. The two cases were consolidated together yesterday with the judge of our lawyers choosing because our court date was before his. Hope that helps.


  1. How do you discipline a child who has technically followed your instructions yet is not following your wishes? Two must be the tough year because their logic kicks in or something. Or maybe their ability to manipulate truth. From the sounds of it, you're a pretty great mom simply because of all you deal with and yet you still enjoy your children. Bravo!

    Ps, I love the "I pooped in WallE" line. With such an earth-friendly message to the movie, I can't see that his natural bodily response was wrong.

  2. Thanks for the good laugh. you have a very smart child on your hands. good luck with that. :0)

  3. Thanks for sharing! That just made my day. Ariana and Garrett could be two peas in a pod. They are very much alike.
    I just got some Kushies washable waterproof training pants and I love them. Now I will not be afraid to leave the house when Ana has her big girl panties on.

  4. I laughed out loud for quite awhile after reading about Garrett's antics... thanks for sharing!!

  5. had to read this post out loud to josh just now. thanks for the smiles! :)

  6. I had to read it out loud to Dad. We both cracked up. He is WAY. TOO. SMART. Technically, he was following your directions, if not your wishes. Good luck!

  7. LOL!

    I put my daughter in the corner until I let her come out and saw tear streaks on the wall.

    How do they know just what to do?!?!

  8. Holly's response after I read your blog out loud to her was, "I saw that coming. I know every childhood trick." I guess I'm old, 'cuz I didn't see it coming!

  9. Too smart for his own good, haha!! Very funny.

  10. He's brilliant! Wahahahahahaha.
    This will of course just endear him more to Alyssa. Jenelle laughed, as will, I am sure, Aaron.(Who will also shake his head a little because we remember those days).


  11. Oooh... following the spirit of the law, but not the letter. Smart boy.

    You are very, very brave. J is going to be three in July, and I have not even begun to think about potty training him. I'll start when he stops lying to me and telling me he has not pooped in his diaper when my nose says otherwise.