Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hearing

I don't know what to say. I'm staring at a blank screen, knowing that Matthew's case is (or soon will be) in court. Granted, placement won't be decided but legal things will be happening regarding the future of this case. I feel tormented. I don't really know why. It's just awful this business of not having any control and wondering how many more weeks or months I have to wonder...

I think the worst part is that I love my son. I would certainly throw myself into oncoming traffic for him and I can't imagine a life without him. Trouble is, I'm sure that is exactly how his birth father feels. I hate that, for someone, this ends with a throbbing ache that, at best, can only dull over time. Should we keep Matthew, I will know that someone is hurting on a daily basis. But, my primary concern has to be the boy. I believe that he is better off with two parents and a brother and a church family and a golden retriever.

Please pray for what is happening/did happen in court today. Please pray for our family. Because we are just that, a family. And I just can't bear the thought of my family being torn apart.

3 comments:

  1. I've been reading your blog for awhile and wanted to tell you to hang in there. I'm praying for a great big positive outcome for you all.

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  2. Jeremiah 29:11 is a perfect verse for you to cling to, as you have said, but know it is also a perfect verse for Matthew as well

    For God knows the plans He has for Matthew, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him hope and a future.

    We are praying for you guys.

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