For those of you who have been waiting for an update on the phone call, I am sorry. It got pushed back and then, right when we finished, the doorbell rang and our dinner party was standing there, waiting to be fed. I just got a chance to sit down at the computer.
It would appear that we have a long court battle ahead of us. While the call with the birth father was not really hostile, it was uncomfortable. There is so much that I wish I could tell all of you who have been lifting us up in prayer but I don't feel that it's appropriate to divulge the details of a private conference call for all the Internet to browse.
At one point I cried, though certainly not loudly enough for him to hear me. I just hate that there is no scenario here where everyone can win. I've decided that what has to be the only thing that matters is that Matthew wins.
It felt unproductive to me.
When he said, "It's been almost two months--" I wanted to scream, It's been exactly two months. Two months as of three hours ago! But then I remembered that there isn't really a bad guy in this situation and taking it out on him certainly won't do any good.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
I can tell you, with great certainty, that there is only one set of footprints right now.