Sunday, March 2, 2008

A Few Different Red Things

Pictured above, The Red Thing can also be worn as a skirt. Simply step through the center of the scarf and pull it up around your waist. You can wear it that way, as an ankle length skirt, but I would not highly recommend it, as it is quite transparent and will certainly show off your unmentionables. If you would not like the world to witness the color of your undergarments, fold the scarf over to create the layered look featured below.
It is my clothing advice--and I have no actual fashion training mind you, but I do have eyes--that you only attempt this particular Red Thing option if you are slight of hip. As you can see from the vertical shot, the second layer stops dramatically just under the hip. Therefore, unless you weigh two pounds or are taking part in an anthropological study regarding the mating habits of a certain region where you are chosen as a spouse simply based on your hip size in relation to your ability to bear children, I would advise against such use of the Magic Scarf.


In other news, I went to a car show last night. I am well aware that anyone who has known me for ten seconds is rolling on the floor in gales of laughter right now. Those who may not know me are still probably vaguely aware of the fact that I can put gas in my car and turn the ignition key. The rest of how I get from Point A to Point B is really at the mercy of the Lord Almighty. I think that vehicles have things called carburetors and lug nuts and, well, engines but I am not 100 percent sure. But a couple handfuls of people from church were going so we thought we'd accompany them. We saw some amazing cars and motorcycles and if we'd stayed long enough we could have paid $20 to get the autograph of one Arthur Fonzarelli. I'm sure he probably would have signed it as Henry Winkler though, which would have been a little disappointing. Furthermore, Cindy Williams was also going to be giving autographs and if Veronica had come to visit me just one week later we might have had to get in on that action. Being that, you know, we've "Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated" with the best of 'em.

But, aside from the fact that we wanted to hang out with various members of the church, the real reason we went was because we'd heard a rumor about a certain car and, well, those rumors just happened to be true. And if you think a toddler doesn't know exactly who Lightning McQueen is, you'd be wrong...

He waved at him. He squealed at him. And when it was time to walk away from the Rust-Eze endorser, he sobbed hysterical buckets. I think that in those moments, Garrett honestly believed he had found his one true love.

Also I have been tagged by Moss. I'm kind of excited because I've never been tagged before. Yay.

Grab the book nearest to you, open it up, and turn it to page 123. Write down the first 5 sentences on that page. Then tag 5 more people.

Well alright then. The book nearest to me just happens to be The Book of Mormon. We were left well enough alone for the first three months of our life in Salt Lake City but then, wham! If you know my husband you know that he's not one to shy away from a good theological debate so, after talking to them for awhile, he told our missionary friends that he would brush up on his Book of Mormon and the next time they came by they could really hash it out. Now, I know my husband and I have to tell you that I kind of want to secretly warn these poor guys about what's about to happen. Troy's version was published in 1948. I wonder what changes have been made in the book they're using. In any are the first five sentences on page 123:

O then, my beloved brethren, repent ye, and enter in at the straight gate, and continue in the way which is narrow, until ye shall obtain eternal life. O be wise; what can I say more? Finally, I bid you farewell, until I shall meet you before the pleasing bar of God, which bar striketh the wicked with awful dread and fear. Amen. And now it came to pass after some years had passed away, there came a man among the people of Nephi, whose name was Sherem.

Alrighty then.

I now tag the following: Bethany, Heidi, Mom, Veronica and Zandra


  1. Ha! I don't read...except for birthing books and gossip mags! The nearest book to me is an exciting updated version of the pool parts guide!

    PS. Love the ever-fashionable Red Thing!

  2. Forgive me, but I think the boy looks better in the red thing than you do. I think he's pretty cute! But I do want to go on the Lori diet, eat some pizza and drink a beer every now and then, you're making me look bad! :o)

  3. oops, i missed your tag. i still tried it, but the nearest book to me is the hebrew-greek key-word study bible and the five sentences were SEVERELY dull. sorry. btw, thanks for your sweet comment on my blog. i remember josh telling me i should call you that first year and i responded with "but i'm sure she already has SO MANY friends!" bummer i was so shy.