Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Dog Wants In

If you don't have a clue what The Red Thing is, read this first.

There are six of us in this house. There is me. There is The Husband who has been featured in suspenders and the tie. There is The Boy who has appeared in several of The Red Thing photographs. There is The Golden Retriever. And there are The Felines. I doubt that Oliver will be featured in any Magic Scarf attire because he is very skittish and not trusting of strange objects. Evie (a.k.a. The Psycho Feral Cat that moved with us because we felt bad for her and she was making progress and she has now been fattening up in our basement and finally FINALLY going outside some of the time because it is warming up) will never appear in one of these shots because, in order to achieve that, I believe one of the other members of our family would have to sacrifice a limb. But our patient, lovable, adorable golden retriever has been begging me with his big chocolate eyes to join in the fun. And so, below you find The Red Thing Starring Beck and Featuring Troy:

I give you The Leash. Let me tell you that this dog was extremely disappointed that his walk lasted thirty seconds. He sat while Troy put The Magic Leash on. He heeled appropriately. (Not really in this picture. Yah. Not so much.) Just to turn back around and go inside. Poor boy. But don't feel too sorry for him. It's been warm enough that we've let Garrett play outside in the afternoons while I'm making dinner. I just keep the back door open so that I can hear him. Yesterday I realized that it had been quiet for too long and I peered out the window in time to see them in the grass. Beck was laying lazily next to Garrett who was simultaneously staring up at the sky and playing with leaves. It was precious and I tried to get a picture but the giant dummy of an animal came sprinting toward me, wildly abandoning his boy. And don't feel too bad for him because that canine, who has never been allowed to sleep in our room, except during thunder storms because OH MY GOSH we bought the biggest weenie dog ever, has been sleeping in our room on weekends. Part of the problem was that he was always a spastic psycho when we lived in San Diego and letting him sleep in our room turned into him roaming, scratching, licking, rearranging and we could not sleep. For some reason (ahem DEPRESSION!) he's been much more calm since we moved. We carry his bed upstairs and he lays right down and goes to sleep. Well except that last night, in the middle of a scary part of my book (have I mentioned that the church secretary has me addicted to Ted Dekker?) with my back to the dog, suddenly I felt something cold press against my neck. IT'S THE BARREL OF A GUN. SOMEONE SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND MY HUSBAND IS IN THE BASEMENT AND MY BABY IS IN HIS ROOM AND I AM GOING TO BE KIDNAPPED RIGHT FROM MY BEDROOM AND THEY WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN AND WHY IS THE BARREL OF A GUN BREATHING? Which led, of course, to the assumption that some sicko pervert had snuck into my room just to breathe on me and I don't know which is worse, the barrel of a gun or a breathing pervert. But then I felt whiskers and a furry muzzle and it was simply that my first baby was coming to say, "Hey, lady, are you ever going to turn out the light? I've had a really hard day of napping and playing in the yard."

We went to see a school play last night to support a student in the church. And afterward, since we hadn't been to The Cheesecake Factory since our second anniversary, we bought two pieces of cheesecake curb side and headed home to relieve our babysitter. And you know what, I thought that Cheesecake Factory slice size was standard across the nation. Maybe it is and it's just that we haven't been in so long. Maybe San Diego just cuts a bigger slice. I don't know. But my cheesecake was not the quantity of which I recall from my So Cal days. On top of that, it was $14.55 for two slices. Is that absurd or is it just me? So I was moderately irked about it being kinda tiny and not gold plated which, for the price, it should have been, but then I sunk my teeth into this:

Tiramisu Cheesecake. Now on the one hand there is tiramisu which is probably my favorite dessert in the wide wide world. And on the other hand there is cheesecake which is probably my third favorite dessert in the wide wide world. Then they are thrown together in perfect cheesecake to tiramisu ratio and how much did I spend? Never you mind because it was WORTH IT!

If you're wondering what my second favorite dessert in the wide wide world is, I'm pretty sure it's Creme Brulee. It's hard to tell, I've kind of become a dessert fanatic in the past two years.


  1. Creme brulee is in my top 5 I'd say, beaten out by Claim Jumpers LEMON Creme Brulee, which is so magnificent all the other brulees want to be it! Yummy.

  2. $14.55? Holy cow, I don't even make that for an hour of work! I don't know who that's worse for, me or the cheesecake. The best dessert is obviously the Claim Jumper eclair. I think you've forgotten about that one, or it would clearly be in your list.

  3. For the record I would like to be featured on a red thing post. Of course I really deserve an entire blog due to my greatness, but I at least deserve as much attention as the flea-bitten canine. Actually, if he gets a post, I deserve two.

    Oliver the cat

    P.S. You're right about Evie. She will have nothing to do with the aforementioned red thing.

  4. This post made me laugh so hard! The barrel of a gun! Hee hee! I need to look into some Ted Dekker books. Also, I like cheesecake, but we've never been to the Cheesecake Factory. At those prices, I don't think we ever will.

  5. mmmmm....creme brulee. now you've got me craving it. thanks. and, by the way, mountain view's library also carries ted dekker books. darnit, you should have stayed here.

  6. Mmmm, tiramisu, cheesecake, and creme brulee...probably my top three desserts, although its hard for me to rank desserts in general since I love them all so dang much!