Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Boa

To read about where The Red Thing began, click here!

It's important for you to understand that The Red Thing can totally be a boa. But the truth is, I don't really know how to wear a boa correctly. I don't think I've ever worn one. I asked my husband, hoping that he would have a clue but he really didn't either. Actually, now that I write that sentence, I realize that I was probably not hoping that he would have a clue. I was probably hoping that he would look at me and say, "A what? Never heard of it." I'm pretty alright with the fact that he's not a closet boa wearer. So we took a variety of pictures in hopes that we would figure out how to fashion it appropriately. It's imperative that you do not get too close to your computer screen as the cordy muscle things in my neck might just reach through cyberspace and strangle you. Seriously. They look like they are alive. It's like there is someone inside of my body attempting to eat her way out through my neck. Correct me if I'm wrong but I do not feel like my neck is as frightening in real life as it is in these pictures. It's like suddenly my head decided to weigh more than the poor little thing could handle. But do pay attention to the dress because it's one of my favorites. I think a Gold Thing would have suited it better than a Red one though. Ah well. Long live the Magic Scarf Boa!
In this shot the Magic Scarf is wrapped around me much like an actual boa constrictor would be. If I had a boa constrictor. Which I don't. And if I let it wrap itself around my neck. Which I wouldn't.
Attack of the creepy neck cordy things! And right now feels like an appropriate time to discuss the fact that I used to be a blonde. Yup. Right up until I got married I was a Strawberry Blonde. Within a couple months of marriage it had gone to this color. Some husbands make their spouse turn gray. Not mine. He brought out the fiery redhead in me.
I feel like I look like a turtle with a secret in this picture. But you know what, I don't care because I rather like the way my arm looks. Yah. I haven't liked my arm in a picture since my swimming days. You go, left arm. Work it.
This shot exclaims, "Look at this soft and fuzzy red boa! Isn't it just wonderful? Don't you have to have one this instant?" See how I am practically dissecting it with my fingers? And I was going for the smoldering look. I think, maybe, I should not attempt such things in the future.
Another extremely terrifying neck shot. Don't worry, I won't let the alien wreak havoc on the world. I promise.
When I married in to this crazy Doozleberry family, I had to start participating in their annual March Madness Bracket Tournament Thingamajiggy. So probably if you've so much as said hello to me, you know that my picture is in the dictionary next to the word competitive. There is no skill whatsoever involved in this bracket stuff and still I find myself rejoicing when certain teams win and crestfallen when they lose. The really absurd part is the fact that I don't give a fat fig about college basketball any other time of year except the time that starts on Thursday and ends on April 7. So I've made my picks for the first two rounds but I can't decide who to pick to win it all. I'm going to go with a number one seed. I'm not going to go with Memphis. That leaves UCLA, UNC and Kansas. I won't pick Kansas because I want to cheer against them in every single one of their match ups (He Who Shall Not Be Named was a huge fan). I feel like UNC is the smart choice but I want to pick UCLA for some reason. I know they had that horrid loss but I'd like to think they've fixed those problems. I think they maybe have the easier road to the final four. Anyone have an opinion on this? Right, of course not. I'm thinking my brother is the only person still reading this far. I'm sure everyone else got bored back around March Madness Bracket Tournament. So, hey Jon, it's just you and me now. PUMPKIN HEAD! (Speaking of which I'm not sure where I put that thing. No seriously.)


  1. I don't have any opinion whatsoever about basketball, college or otherwise, but I was wondering, have you ever read Harry Potter? When you said "He Who Shall Not be Named", I knew who you were talking about, but I simultaneously thought Lord Voldemort...which I'm not sure if you were joking about too, but if so, it was funny to me, and if not, it was still funny to me, lol.

  2. I have so many things to say. First of all, Heather, enough with the Harry Potter. Stop publicly admitting you read it. Second of all, Lori, find Pumpkinhead or I'm never coming back to Utah. Seriously. Thirdly, I don't follow college basketball anymore than you do. You know its all about the NBA for me. I don't even know if I will participate in Bracket Mania this year, because its always just random guesses. That said, I haven't made up my mind about North Carolina yet. I feel like they will be the standard favorite-to-win-so-everyone-picks-them-and-then-they-lose team. But I think either way (UNC or UCLA) you'll be in pretty good shape.

  3. I am at a loss for words after the scariness of the neck.