Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Deadliest Action Figure

Yesterday the Graco DuoGlider Winnie the Pooh Days of Hunny 2008 Stroller arrived on my porch. We got lots of gift cards when Matthew was born and I kept putting off buying the dual stroller. I was a little afraid that the second I bought it we'd lose custody of the boy and I'd have a virtually unused double stroller for one kid. Well, when we got the new hearing date of June 8, I threw my arms up in the air and bought the darn station wagon stroller. I figured that this whole process is taking so long that Matthew will be fourteen and perfectly capable of choosing his own living situation--and walking--before anything is resolved.

Last night we were preparing to load up the boys to christen the station wagon stroller with its first evening walk. Just as we were about to put The Rock Star in, the little boy from next door knocked on the door. "Can Garrett play?" Instantly The Rock Star could not have cared less about going on a walk and wanted nothing more than to play with his buddy. We informed him that he was going on a walk with us and he could play later. I expect to be chopped liver when my boys are thirteen or fourteen but two? I don't think so.

When Matthew was born, Garrett brought in a whole lot of Big Brother Loot. One of the things he was given was a Bible Man DVD and accompanying action figures. While he is a little young still for the DVD to fully hold his interest, he adores the action figures. He insisted on taking Bible Man with him on the walk. We only strolled about a mile. When we got home several neighborhood boys were playing with action figures in the neighbor's driveway. We walked past them.

G: (so excitedly shrill I could barely understand him) Mommy...I want to play with them with my guy!
Me: If daddy wants to sit outside and watch you. (We only let him play in the front if we can keep a close eye on him. He's the youngest and it's a through street.)
G: (still shrill) Daddy! You stay outside!
T: Okay.
G: (Running across our yard into the neighbor's) I have Bible Man! I play with you guys with my Bible Man! (Nudging his way into their circle) I'm here now.

First of all, I'm sure they were extremely relieved that the two year old finally showed up. Especially since some of them looked about four or five. Secondly, while I wholeheartedly believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, I'm not sure that in a crowd of Batman, Spiderman and Superman, Bibleman is necessarily the most ferocious of action figures.

"Beware of Bibleman. He'll quote scripture at you!"*

At least he didn't try to kiss any of his friends when they all got called home for dinner and baths.

*I give my husband credit for the super hero tag line.


  1. That's classic. I'll bet there's no such thing as "Book of Mormon Man." Geez, what a lame name that would be. Uh oh, who did I just offend? Hopefully the little kiddos didn't tell their parents about Garrett and BibleMan, or they won't let him play anymore.

  2. So my favorite part of Bibleman is that he is the actor who played Buddy on Charles In CHarge. And now I am singing that theme song.

  3. In one town we lived in our pastor called his black clergical robe is "Sin Fighting Suit."

    There is also a Librarian action figure who puts her finger to her mouths and says "Shhhh..." Librarians: The front line warriors in the war against ignorance!

  4. LOL at the quote. It's an epic win for hubby! :)
    But really, I wonder how Bible Man would stand up against Spiderman, Batman or Superman in a superhero cage match of some sort... hhmmm...