Cast of Characters

It rained on us while we were in Oregon. As we approached the Idaho border it sprinkled on our car for about ten minutes. That was the extent of the moisture I saw while we were there. This leads me to the only logical conclusion I can come up with. Oregon was abducted by aliens.

I didn't complain about the weather even once the entire time we were there. Oh. No. Wait. I did complain once--kind of. I don't actually remember being a brat about it or anything but this was the windiest day at the beach ever! We were supposed to take The Rock Star swimming and he really wanted to build a sand castle. So. After we hiked up a big sand dune, dipped toes in the water, and tried our best to keep the crazy blowing sand out of Spud's eyes, I hiked back over the sand dune while Troy and Garrett speedily threw together a sand castle.

This has become my new favorite picture of the Spudster. Is it just me or does that smile scream, "Happy! Healthy! Well-adjusted!"? I also think that, behind the grin, he's saying, "Hey, attorneys, please stop sending my parents monthly bills exceeding $2,000! It'll be another 22 years before I'm a running back for the San Diego Chargers. They're broke, y'all. It's not funny anymore!" I like it that Matthew thinks certain phrases like, y'all, even though he was born in southern California, yo.

I'd like to introduce you to the characters we spent the week with.

Below we have Matthew and his Aunt Jana. Aunt Jana is Troy's baby sister. Aunt Jana is 2.5 years older than me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Troy took "robbing the cradle" to a whole new level when he married me. Aunt Jana wanted to kidnap The Spud. I can't say that I blame her.

Below is Matthew and Aunt Jolene. We are kindred spirits in that we are both raising two boys. There are no lacy frills in our world. There are no tea parties. No Barbie dolls. Just dirt. Dirt and little boys who drop trou outside and take great delight in watering the bushes.

My boys and their "Uncle" Ed. Uncle Ed is a family friend and great guy. He preached on Sunday morning at my FIL's church. He knows the details of our court battle and he really wants Matthew to remain in our custody forever. It's nice to have an African-American lawyer from the Chicago inner city on the side of the pasty white folk.

The Rockstar and his cousins (Jana's kids), "Gaycie" and "Tolby". Yeah. Not their real names--just the way my son happens to say them. Gaycie A.D.O.R.E.D. Matthew. She was, seriously, obsessed with him. It was much like the way I was obsessed with her during Troy and my first year of marriage. She was less than a month old when we got married. The only difference is the fact that she's almost six. So, like, it's okay for her to follow me everywhere with the baby. Jana might have thought it was weird when her 22-year-old brand new sister in law was stalking her infant.

Papa Gary and four of his ten grandchildren. Plus his daughter. He really likes being covered in grandchildren. For real. If he had his way all of his children would have like eight kids of their own. My guess is that he'll probably have to settle for ten. Total.

"Damma DeDe", her son, and his boys. Damma DeDe likes being covered in grandkids, too. She also likes to give Matthew his bottles. And hold him. And burp him. And cuddle him. And bounce him.

Garrett and his other Oregon cousins, "Tooper" and "Hoyer". (Jolene's kids). Garrett and Hoyer played really well together--they're only four months apart. We took a different picture of them and told them all to look grumpy. It was hilarious. We never could get all of them looking grumpy at the same time. One of them would always dissolve into giggles.

The End.