My Morning

Once upon a time I had grand plans of Hollywood or Broadway, of grad school and agents. I'd be on the cover of People, Vanity Fair, and Horse & Rider Ladies Home Journal. I'd win an Oscar, an Emmy and probably a Tony--for good measure. Nights would be filled with parties, charity events, glasses of expensive wine. Nevermind the fact that I hate wine.

Side note. I tried red wine once. I did not like it. Having the knowledge that a person is either a red wine person or a white wine person, I stated, "Hmm. I must be a white wine kind of girl." Months later I had the opportunity to try white wine. Then I declared, "Hmm. I must be a no wine kind of girl." Bleck.

Anyway. Days would be filled with the glamorous joys of life on the set. I'd never want for money. I'd have so much, in fact, that I would give most of it away to my favorite charities. These were my dreams. If I wasn't working on a project, I'd get up in the morning and my cook would serve me something piping hot and delicious. Then I'd be off to do some shopping with my best friend *insert newest "It" girl here*. We'd have some kind of fancy salad and mineral water for lunch and I'd hurry home to get ready for the benefit dinner I had scheduled for that evening. It would be a glamorous life, but someone had to live it.

This morning I got up and made The Rock Star an omelet and a bagel for breakfast. I am not an actress but I am a cook. It takes the boy forever and an hour to eat in the morning so we dashed out the door--nine minutes late--and headed to the aquarium. It was field trip day at preschool. I hit the lights right and was only three minutes late. I am not an actress but I am a chauffeur. Little Buddy and The Rock Star enjoyed the morning at the aquarium. The boys loved the rays (or, as Garrett calls them, the Flappy Things), the octopus, and the jellies. Initially, Garrett was terrified of the crocodiles but then he got over it. Oh wait. Have I not told the story of the time I convinced him that he was going to be fed to a member of the crocodilia family? Hmmm. I'll have to do that sometime. Let's just say that it wasn't my finest moment as a mother and I'm still reaping what I sowed.

On our way out, the only exit is through the gift shop, mind you, Garrett decided he absolutely had to have a stuffed eel. When I told him no he wandered right to the brink of a meltdown. "I have to have this. It's my best. I love him!" (Really good thing three-year-olds don't get married, by the way). So this is what I said...

"Okay. Sure. I'll buy you that. And then when we get home we are going to get rid of all your other stuffed animals. I'll put elephant and ducky and puppy and all the rest into the trash but you can have your new eel." For the record, he considered it long enough for me to start to worry just a bit. I continued, "You won't have any of the animals you love but you'll have a new eel." He put it back. I'm not an actress but I make a great reverse psychologist.

We went to McDonald's so The Rock Star could play, exercise, get out some of that energy. I'm not an actress, I'm a personal trainer.

We stopped at the library and checked out bunches of books and a couple DVDs. I'm a librarian or a teacher or something.

It's a far cry from being best friends with the newest "It" girl, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.