Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Worth Fighting For

Tonight at the dinner table, The Rock Star was "singing" part of a Taylor Swift song. Since he's always been a Hannah Montana fan, I mistakenly asked the question, "Who are you going to marry, Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus?" He thought about it for a split second before replying.

"Mommy. I'm gonna marry Ana."

Right. My bad. And he said it like I was betraying his one true love by even asking. Oh sure, Taylor Swift is gorgeous. Miley Cyrus is rolling around in more money than I'd even know what to do with. Neither of them holds a candle to his Ana.

Troy interjected, "Wow. That's certainly choosing love over money."

Speaking of choosing love over money...Oh, Jon & Kate Plus 8. I always only watched the show in reruns. And yeah, I thought she was overbearing and yeah, I thought he was kind of a measly little pushover but I attributed it to holycowwehaveeightkids! Count them. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

I don't know why I've been so sad over their pending (but obvious) announcement. As I watched the episode last night I wanted to bury my face in my husband's neck. But he wasn't there with me because he said it was like watching a train wreck. A train wreck that could have maybe been avoided if they'd stopped doing the show for five seconds and worked on their marriage. Maybe they tried. Maybe they didn't. But it certainly wouldn't have hurt to get their faces off of the television while they dealt with a very private matter.

My least favorite part of the entire episode was when Kate said she sobbed for half a day. Wow. Half a day over a ten year marriage. I'm at almost six years and I can tell you that if Troy and I decided to divorce, I'd be sobbing for at least a whole day. At least. I'll go out on a limb and say that I'd be crying pretty inconsolably for a very long time.

When it was over I did bury my face in his neck. I breathed in and recognized the familiar scent of my husband. He was given to me to have and to hold and to love and to cherish. I'm going to try my absolute hardest to stand by all those things I said. And, if I ever find myself letting go and losing my marriage, I'm going to claw and scrape and fight for it. I'm going to cling to that man with every reserve I can tap into. So, in a weird and unfortunate sort of way, I'm thankful to Jon & Kate because they reminded me of just how much I love my husband. They reminded me that he is mine and he doesn't belong to any other human the way he belongs to me. They reminded me that if, God forbid, I ever find myself in their situation, I will battle with everything inside of me to save this union. These years cannot just be dissolved as though they never existed to begin with. I will not easily give up on my holy matrimony. I love you, Troy. In the good times and in the tough times. In the days of paradise and in the days of stress and muck. Thank you for choosing me to share this life with. I consider it a great privilege.


Please keep my friend, Michelle, and her husband, Kevin, and their unborn daughter, Karsie, in your prayers. Michelle is in the hospital having contractions. Karsie is due in two months. They've stopped the contractions for now but please pray fervently for these people. Karsie will have some medical obstacles to overcome when she is born and it is definitely best for her to stay put for a little while longer.

Following their story last night, as Kevin updated from his phone, made me hug my boys a little tighter and appreciate them a little more.


  1. What a nice tribute to your husband.

    And as far as Jon & Kate - I blame her hair.

  2. yes, well said. I was pretty sad and disgusted to hear the news of their split, and haven't even watched the episode yet. And apparently, the show is continuing?! you can bet that will no longer be on my dvr. troy is right, it is like watching a train wreck...

    but for the record...i actually really like kate's hair!

  3. i had the same reaction as i watched jon & kate last night. then i dreamed all night that josh was walking out on me. needless to say, today i've been thoroughly enjoying having a husband who loves me and would fight for me as much as i'd fight for him.

    p.s. whenever tristan sees pictures of matthew on your blog, he points and says "baby sam." then he points to HIS baby sam, here in person and says "baby sam." love truly sees no color! :)

  4. thank you for this.

    and my word verification is 'goutwa' which reminds me of, like, a crazypants way to say 'gouda' which reminds me of when Simoney et al assigned everyone in the theatre a Cheese Personality.

    please make time for me when you're up here.

  5. I feel pretty awful for Jon and Kate though. I mean, it's obvious, that the producers or whoever-is-behind-this-show basked in the controversy for ratings and revenue. I hate to admit it, but they made money out of a very tragic situation, and Jon and Kate don't seem to mind. I feel very bad... especially for the "holycowwehaveeightkids" :(