Monday, June 27, 2011

A Groping, a Choking, and a Chop Stick Poking: Part 4

As if having your butt molested and choking on chicken wasn't enough, the weird day continued. After our lunch, we did some shopping at a mall built into the city block. As we were walking down the street, a homeless man approached us. He carried chop sticks in his hand.

We were walking shoulder to shoulder and I was closest to the street. As he neared us he asked if we had change. We told him that we did not. He continued walking and I assumed that he'd pass by.

He did not.

He turned toward me as I walked by. Somewhat suddenly, he stuck his chop sticks out and began pinching and poking me in the arm. At this point, I threw my arms up in the air, completely flabbergasted by the fact that I'd awoken in another universe that morning. Side note: I think we need to use the word flabbergasted more often. "Seriously? You have got to be kidding me!"

"Did he touch you with them?" One of my friends asked.

"Yes! He grabbed me like I was a piece of orange chicken."

I'd never before had someone arrested. I'd never before choked in the middle of a restaurant. I'd certainly never before been poked and prodded by a homeless man's chop sticks. Who knew that a day in Pasadena would hold so many firsts for me?


  1. Good grief! Your story has me hanging on by a thread! Your life could be a movie. Like Groundhog Day but with gropers and chopsticks. Oh wait. I would hope that you wouldn't have to wake up to that everyday...Good thing your friends were with you. Imagine having to do all that by yourself.

  2. In his defense, you do look a lot like orange chicken.

  3. I just caught up on your blog, reading all about your trip, that is ridiculous! Your killing me! The groping creeped me out like nobody’s business, the choking was equally disturbing and the chop stick poking made me laugh out loud. Good grief girl!

  4. i'm glad you survived it all and that you didn't have to endure any of it alone. how about the pants? did they survive the ordeal?

  5. Maybe next time youget together you pick somewhere other than Pasadena ;) Honestly I wish this story could go one into 50 parts or more. Its like I am reading a book that I just cant get enough of. However, I don't really ever want you to choke ever again.. That part was a little scary.

  6. oh my word, lori, i'm just catching up on your last few posts and i've got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. i wasn't laughing at all during the groping bit, but the choking part got me and then of course, i followed that up with the chop stick poking and now i've got the hiccups. wow, what a day you guys had!