I'm stressed y'all (What? You're concerned about the fact that I'm not southern? You know that my experience with all things southern is limited to a few days spent in Texas and a New Year's Eve spent in Bartlesville, Oklahoma? You're now pondering the fact that there is such a place called Bartlesville, Oklahoma and wondering why, on God's green Earth, I spent a New Year's Eve there? I'm not southern, I have limited experience with the South and the Bartlesville story is for another time. Get over it. It just felt like a y'all moment). I leave next Wednesday for the cloudy cover of the Pacific Northwest. We'll be there for a week visiting Troy's family. When I get back I will have precisely 36 hours before our women's retreat starts. A women's retreat that I am, in large part, responsible for planning. A women's retreat where I will be one of the speakers despite the fact that I so do not have it all figured out yet. Don't worry. I plan to be all, "So I have a really funny story to tell you. Blah blah blah. Wait, what? How does that tie in to biblical principal? Um. See because um. Well. Jesus loves me in spite of all those stories I just told you." No but seriously, I've been working really hard on it and I'm pretty much terrified that it won't make sense and I'll talk too fast and when I'm done everyone will narrow their eyes and say one of two things.
1. That's our pastor's wife? Maybe we should rethink our staff in the coming months.
2. She so does not have anything figured out. Someone get that girl a beginner's Bible.
So aside from starting to get a little nervous about all things retreaty, I'm starting to get a little nervous about all things adoptiony. When I get home from retreat I have approximately 53 hours before I fly to San Diego. I'm a wee bit worried about orchestrating the packing for all of these frolics around the greater northwest, greater Heber City, greater San Diego and Los Angeles areas. I'm a little worried that during our adoption interview they'll be all, "Which home study agency approved you freaks?" I'm only slightly kidding when I say that I might stand up in front of the women at retreat and mumble something about, "I knew I forgot to do something. Talk amongst yourselves for a half hour."
Also, my stomach is going crazy with odd gurgling. When Troy and I were dating my stomach did this all the time. We used to joke about how I was allergic to him or something. It was ridiculous. One time his dad told him to go get me something to eat. It would have been completely mortifying if we weren't already so totally head over heels in love with each other. So is it a stress thing or what? Maybe I was completely freaked out the whole time we were dating that he might find out how totally lame I really am. And now I'm crazy stressing over my psychotic life between now and October 11. Who says stay at home moms have nothing to worry about? Come over here and say that to my fist. What? What's that? How do I find time to blog? Say hello to my left fist. It's not good for much but it helps my right one feel less lonely. Look at that, I'm even practicing not putting my thumb inside my fist. My husband will be so proud.