Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Stressin' Y'all

I'm stressed y'all (What? You're concerned about the fact that I'm not southern? You know that my experience with all things southern is limited to a few days spent in Texas and a New Year's Eve spent in Bartlesville, Oklahoma? You're now pondering the fact that there is such a place called Bartlesville, Oklahoma and wondering why, on God's green Earth, I spent a New Year's Eve there? I'm not southern, I have limited experience with the South and the Bartlesville story is for another time. Get over it. It just felt like a y'all moment). I leave next Wednesday for the cloudy cover of the Pacific Northwest. We'll be there for a week visiting Troy's family. When I get back I will have precisely 36 hours before our women's retreat starts. A women's retreat that I am, in large part, responsible for planning. A women's retreat where I will be one of the speakers despite the fact that I so do not have it all figured out yet. Don't worry. I plan to be all, "So I have a really funny story to tell you. Blah blah blah. Wait, what? How does that tie in to biblical principal? Um. See because um. Well. Jesus loves me in spite of all those stories I just told you." No but seriously, I've been working really hard on it and I'm pretty much terrified that it won't make sense and I'll talk too fast and when I'm done everyone will narrow their eyes and say one of two things.

1. That's our pastor's wife? Maybe we should rethink our staff in the coming months.


2. She so does not have anything figured out. Someone get that girl a beginner's Bible.

So aside from starting to get a little nervous about all things retreaty, I'm starting to get a little nervous about all things adoptiony. When I get home from retreat I have approximately 53 hours before I fly to San Diego. I'm a wee bit worried about orchestrating the packing for all of these frolics around the greater northwest, greater Heber City, greater San Diego and Los Angeles areas. I'm a little worried that during our adoption interview they'll be all, "Which home study agency approved you freaks?" I'm only slightly kidding when I say that I might stand up in front of the women at retreat and mumble something about, "I knew I forgot to do something. Talk amongst yourselves for a half hour."

Also, my stomach is going crazy with odd gurgling. When Troy and I were dating my stomach did this all the time. We used to joke about how I was allergic to him or something. It was ridiculous. One time his dad told him to go get me something to eat. It would have been completely mortifying if we weren't already so totally head over heels in love with each other. So is it a stress thing or what? Maybe I was completely freaked out the whole time we were dating that he might find out how totally lame I really am. And now I'm crazy stressing over my psychotic life between now and October 11. Who says stay at home moms have nothing to worry about? Come over here and say that to my fist. What? What's that? How do I find time to blog? Say hello to my left fist. It's not good for much but it helps my right one feel less lonely. Look at that, I'm even practicing not putting my thumb inside my fist. My husband will be so proud.


  1. 1. The term y'all better not be reserved for southerners or I've been impeding on their territory for years.

    2. Portland's seen nothing but clear blue skies for well over a week. I hear they are pulling out the gray-sky blanket just for you, though.

    3. Congratulations on the adoption agency kudos. And best wishes for busy-ness.

    4. Yes, I still lurk here via my trusty GoogleReader.

    a queer heathen pagan in Portland, who appreciates the sharings of a pastor's wife braving the Utah experience

  2. Take a deep breath - in...and out. Calm down. You know a God who is so much bigger than your life between now and October 11. He's got it covered. Relax and enjoy the ride. J

  3. I agree with the comment above. Plus, once again a small reminder of that rule in the pastor's wife handbook...you know, the one about NOT punching people in the face with thine fist. (or something like that).

  4. I agree with the last two comments. And who is "J" since all three of your sister-in-law's start with that initial....which one is it????

    And I KNOW you'll do great in all areas before you, what an exciting time.

    And I think it was my favorite Pastor's wife that once told me she so DIDN'T have it all together, heh, you might know her!

  5. Okay so I totally understand the stress of the packing! I feel the pain for you. In fact, I really am semi-stressed for you on that front. I have to do a little weekend packing on a regular basis and I am no good at that! But maybe you go to the store and get yourself a treat for each milestone... I do that sometimes, and it makes it a little better. Lots of love!

  6. "J" is the church secretary at their new church in Utah. Stands for Joanna, who is sometimes competent on the whole Internet stuff, and sometimes not. I was having difficulty with my user name and password and just figured anonymous was the simple way to go.