Meet Jesus

I'd like you all to meet Jesus. That's Jesus, pictured above, the one with the beak and the webbed feet. And no, we're not trying to be multicultural around here. We're not branching out and naming our stuffed animals Hay-sue-s. That's Jesus. As in of Nazareth. As in the Christ. If my mind serves me correctly, my parents gave this stuffed duck to my son for Easter. On his white fluffy torso are the words Jesus Loves Me and if you push the correct spot on his wing, the corresponding tune sings out. In it's entirety.



Garrett took to loving this particular plush toy a few weeks ago. He insisted on taking it to bed with him and, when he rolled onto it in the middle of the night and we heard Jesus Loves Me over and over and over again on the baby monitor, we decided it was going to need to be a non sleepy time animal. So, in the morning, when Garrett gets out of his crib, he grabs the duck and carries him around for half the day. Because he knows that the tune the duck plays has something to do with Jesus, he has started referring to the animal as such. Just this morning he patted the spot next to him in his high chair and shrieked, "Jesus!" Two nights ago he ran around the house looking for him, spotted him and yelled, "Jesus! Hi!"



And yesterday, he took him swimming. The back door was open to let the dog in and out and Garrett was playing outside. Suddenly he came running in and handed me a soaking wet Jesus. Apparently, the dog's water bucket is an excellent duck pond. That duck is still not completely dry. And, obviously, his song is a little (oh alright a lot) out of tune. He's apparently got a short in the system because now he bursts into worship all on his own from time to time. And other times he flat refuses to sing, even when his wing is pushed repeatedly. Here's the little guy drying out in our sink.

This poor duck smells awful. The dog was in need of some fresh water anyway and now Jesus smells like algae and dog saliva. I am aware of just how irreverent that sentence sounds. I've encouraged my son to name him something else but it just won't work. In his mind that duck is Jesus. Plain and simple. If he wasn't two and at the very beginning of his spiritual journey, I'd worry about having a golden calf situation on my hands. Anyway, I sprayed him with air freshner to try to relieve some of the stench but now he just smells like vanilla dog breath.

I explained to my son that we don't submerge stuffed animals under water but I think my lecture fell on deaf ears. It's a duck after all. He's no dummy. He knows ducks belong in the water.