Conferences

So. Picture it.

I'm pretty much running through the Maverik Center to save seats for the women in my church. I'm stoked to be at the Beth Moore conference because, let's face it, she actually makes me want to be southern. She says things like, "Do that thang." She has big hair. She tells stories about girdles.

So I'm walking. Really, really fast. And I approach a table with a blue and brown wrapped gift on it. The thought crosses my mind, that looks like the colors of my conference.

Now might be a good time to explain that I'm speaking at a conference in about four weeks. It's here in the valley. My friend asked me to speak and after I said yes she informed me that I'd be the keynote speaker. To an estimated group of 150 (Um. That's about double the size I've ever spoken to.) and that, oh yeah, they usually fly someone in for this event but she's confident that I can do it. Well, good then. I'm glad my friend thinks I can do it. What about everyone else? So I started praying for a heaping helping of God's anointing.

And I, you know, went to the Beth Moore conference praying for a giant blessing and some serious inspiration. I briskly walked past the table with the blue and brown wrapped gift on it. The thought crossed my mind, that looks like the colors of my conference.

I noticed the brochure lying there just as my mom, who'd flown in for Beth Moore, grabbed me from behind and shouted, "That's you!" Let me tell you, it was incredibly humbling, disjointing, and bizarre to look down and see your picture staring back up at you. In a sports arena. At the Beth Moore conference.

Later, Beth was teaching from 1 Peter 1. She was hilarious. She was evangelical. She was theological. She spouted Scripture off the tippy top of her sweet little blond head. She prayed with the anointing of the Holy Spirit. And it dawned on me.

Oh. Crap.

My conference is in a month. What are the chances that all the women who attended the Beth Moore Conference, and will attend the one that I'll be speaking at, will also attend a conference in between where the speaker is horribly boring and incredibly off Scriptural base? Because I do not want to follow Beth Moore. I do not want to follow the energetic, adorable, inspired, sweet southern bell.

What's that you say? The chances that they'll attend a really bad conference in the next four weeks are slim. Yeah. That's pretty much what I thought.