Monday, May 24, 2010

What We Found

"I have to go poop!" I heard the words drifting through my dreams. Trouble was, that particular line in that particular dream didn't make any sense. I was dreaming that my real life friends and I were the characters on Lost and we were all hugging in the church and I was thinking about how severely disappointed I was that that was our ending. (Dear Lost, I'm pretty much one of the ones that wants the last six years of her life back. I feel like we just had a really bad break up.) So through this dream and hugging floated the words, "I have to go poop!" I ignored them and kept sleeping. "I have to poop!" The words became more urgent and I heard myself command, Then go!

I turned toward my clock. It was approaching 4:30. My oldest plopped himself onto the potty and had his first round of diarrhea. (Note: This is not my finest blog post.) We stuck him in a Pull-Up--he's only three after all, Troy moved to the couch, the boy moved into bed with me because it's much closer to a bathroom than his own bed. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn't. Sometime later he woke up, toppled onto my nightstand in an attempt to get quickly to the bathroom, yanked off his Pull-Up and totally didn't make it. As I cleaned up that awesome mess he moaned and whimpered about having an upset stomach. I decided to give him some liquid Maalox. We descended the stairs in search of a spoon. He looked out the window...

And this is really what I was getting to. I just needed to set the scene. I'm terribly sorry it involved feces.

G: (gasp) Mommy! It's snowing!
Me: (tired) Oh brother, it is not.
G: Mommy, look! (He pointed out the window)
Me: (rolling my eyes so violently they nearly popped right out of my head) You're right. It is snowing. That, right there, is ridiculous.

May 24th, y'all. And it snowed well into the morning. Sure, it's melted now and the sun is out but that is hardly the point. Snow. On MAY TWENTY FOURTH! I'm making a civilian's arrest on Mother Nature. She doesn't get to make the decisions anymore. She's clearly senile.


  1. That's AWFUL!!!! Yah it can't decide if its warm, cold, freezing, hot or the other here - it's retarded. And I am not pleased. Much like your sentiments about the Lost Finale - that's my current relationship with weather and "mother nature"... and PS I hope G feels better soon :(

  2. I read this to Kevin. He called me from work to tell me there was 1/2 to an inch of snow there. He totally agrees with you. Joanna

  3. I don't mind spring snow because it only last in the morning and then its gone. The only bad part is the storms that happen in the spring are the only storms that remind me I am not a spring chicken. I don't know why it's only in the spring maybe the older I get my joints will ache with all storms

  4. But the good news was that the snow broke the SLC official record for late snowfall date.

    And just were THERE!

  5. Holy Guacamole! I live in Northern New York and I thought our weather was bad but that definately takes the cake....I send you warm weather wishes!!!