"I have to go poop!" I heard the words drifting through my dreams. Trouble was, that particular line in that particular dream didn't make any sense. I was dreaming that my real life friends and I were the characters on Lost and we were all hugging in the church and I was thinking about how severely disappointed I was that that was our ending. (Dear Lost, I'm pretty much one of the ones that wants the last six years of her life back. I feel like we just had a really bad break up.) So through this dream and hugging floated the words, "I have to go poop!" I ignored them and kept sleeping. "I have to poop!" The words became more urgent and I heard myself command, Then go!
I turned toward my clock. It was approaching 4:30. My oldest plopped himself onto the potty and had his first round of diarrhea. (Note: This is not my finest blog post.) We stuck him in a Pull-Up--he's only three after all, Troy moved to the couch, the boy moved into bed with me because it's much closer to a bathroom than his own bed. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn't. Sometime later he woke up, toppled onto my nightstand in an attempt to get quickly to the bathroom, yanked off his Pull-Up and totally didn't make it. As I cleaned up that awesome mess he moaned and whimpered about having an upset stomach. I decided to give him some liquid Maalox. We descended the stairs in search of a spoon. He looked out the window...
And this is really what I was getting to. I just needed to set the scene. I'm terribly sorry it involved feces.
G: (gasp) Mommy! It's snowing!
Me: (tired) Oh brother, it is not.
G: Mommy, look! (He pointed out the window)
Me: (rolling my eyes so violently they nearly popped right out of my head) You're right. It is snowing. That, right there, is ridiculous.
May 24th, y'all. And it snowed well into the morning. Sure, it's melted now and the sun is out but that is hardly the point. Snow. On MAY TWENTY FOURTH! I'm making a civilian's arrest on Mother Nature. She doesn't get to make the decisions anymore. She's clearly senile.