Mama's Boy

If you looked up mama's boy in the dictionary the definition would be Matthew. It's not that he doesn't adore his daddy. He does. It's not that he won't go to other people. He will. It's not that he screams all the time if I'm not around. He doesn't. But good grief and give me a break is that kid ever a mama's boy.

He wants to be with me constantly. He'll go to someone else but the moment I walk up it's all tears and "oh how I've been tortured" and reaching out to me and did I mention the tears? Giant ones, produced so immediately that I'm getting this kid acting lessons for his second birthday and just waiting for the day he wins an Oscar and says he owes it all to his strange obsession with his mommy.

At home it isn't enough to spend his entire existence standing between my legs, following me wherever I go, demanding to be held. Oh no. When I hold him, he often tries to climb into my body. He just isn't close enough to me if he's merely in my arms. Apparently, he needs to open my chest cavity and cling to my rib cage.

I make him entertain himself quite often because I don't want a baby who can't ever be put down. But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it endearing--albeit incredibly annoying. There is a part of me-- the part that threw The Rock Star at the nearest passerby any time he acted like this because I just didn't want to have myself a ridiculously shy, finicky, picky baby--that wants to tell him to toughen up and stop being such a baby. There is, however, another part of me--most of me--that thinks this bond is amazing. This part of me wants to hand Matthew to the judge, watch him dissolve into a mess of snot and tears and Oscar winning performance, and then raise my eyebrows and say, "Really? Really?" Then, perhaps Matthew could let out one of his piercing screams. It sounds like a lot of loud yelling but it is translated to I want my mommy and I want her right now and I want her never, ever, to put me down. EVER! They are somewhat famous around here because, well, they could wake the dead and I'm only mostly kidding. Anyway, perhaps he could let out one of his banshee shrieks. Then, I could look at the judge, smile, and say, "I rest my case."