The Tree

Do you feel neglected? I've been soaking in the summer rays (finally!) and I just haven't had much to say lately. Two nights ago I could not sleep and I just laid wandering around the recesses of my mind while I was supposed to be praying--although I did manage some of that, too. Several blog posts popped into my mind and I should have just gotten up right then and there and written because, wouldn't you know, they've flittered right out, soaked into the threads of my pillowcase. But I couldn't get up because, even if I'd decided that staying awake all night long when a boisterous nearly four-year-old and an energetic toddler would need me in the morning, I couldn't because my arms and legs were the thick limbs of a tree and my body, the trunk.

Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I concentrate on a particular body part, often one of my hands, and try not to think of anything else. This often works and I'm asleep in minutes. I think it might be a result of disallowing my mind to wander. So, two nights ago, I started thinking about my left arm, concentrating on it. And it suddenly felt heavy and wooden and enormous. Oddly, so did the rest of my limbs. I decided to just leave them there and let my mind wander which led to the above mentioned ideas for posts and the disappointing fact that I couldn't get out of bed because I'd turned into a tree.

This right here is bold blogging. Forget about confessing my inner thoughts about infertility and faith and being a transracial family. Late at night I turned into a tree. That's some heavy (read: crazy) stuff.