Sunday, August 9, 2009


Troy and I are looking for a new church.

This is a problem because he is employed by our current church. However, we can no longer show our faces there. Why? We're raising a disgusting little hooligan boy and we can no longer subject the good people at our church to his behavior. That's why. He is all testosterone and bugs and worms and skinned knees. I think I've mentioned before that sometime during the whole toilet training extravaganza he decided it was a good idea to water the lawn with his potty.

We've tried explaining to him that he is not allowed to do this other places. For the most part, he complies. Today, as I walked toward the childcare room at church I was greeted with the feminine face of a little nursery helper. "Uh. Garrett just did something really weird."

Assuming he had danced on the table or yelped I'm a rock star! or something equally odd I asked, rather uninterestedly, "What?"

"He peed on the grass."

Oh for the love of Peter, Paul, Moses, and the Mother Mary herself. You have got to be kidding me. We've told him not to do this anywhere except the privacy of his own backyard. For that matter we've tried discouraging the use of even our own lawn. So he chooses to drop trou and whiz in the play yard at church. Does he not realize who his father is?

If there had been a rock big enough I would certainly have gathered my entire family around me and climbed under it. There wasn't, so I'm back where I started. Anyone know a good church in the area? And then, as a follow up question, is anyone hiring?


  1. Here I am in northern CA, reading your blog, and have a moment of panic. Looking for another church? What could possibly have happened that was so bad? Too funny. :) J

  2. I'm thinking the nursery lady needs to lighten up and know a little more about kids to know that is not weird. I think you should show your face proudly as a mother that understands child development and is not afraid of the raising a little 'naturalist'!

  3. Just to clarify, for anyone else who thought the person who alerted me was an adult, she was an elementary schooler helping her parent. Her parent thought it was hilarious. We have nice people in our nursery. :-)

  4. oh my, I have nothing to say that will be encouraging, but now at 13 and 11 they are FINALLY embarrassed by such things. But oh the stories I could tell you, it wouldn't be pretty. sorry.

  5. Yup...know what you mean. Been there too. Once you start "leaving" though, eventually you will have to find a new planet. Then a new galaxy.

    Just hope he didn't write his name on the lawn. Greener grass with his name...that's embarassing.

  6. My husband is also a pastor and our son, 3 years old, peed in the bushes in front of the church on EASTER SUNDAY as church was letting out. Good times!

  7. Why would you need to look for another church??.. Thats exactly what I'd expect from a little boy actually. Something along those lines. Not surprised.

    I hope this is sarcasm. Btw your blog is really interesting.