Monday, January 19, 2009

Fighting the Washing Machine

I've had a killer headache since this morning. I think this has something to do with the blunt force at which it hit the washing machine. You see, it takes a special kind of person to whack her own head with exceptional speed as she bends down to pick up a stray sock. Honestly, I don't even know how it happened, other than, perhaps, I'm depth perception deficient. I don't think that's a real thing but that certainly seems to be what happened this morning.

I bent down to retrieve a sock that had failed to make it from the basket into the machine and, suddenly, I heard a ridiculous racket and, simultaneously, felt pain searing through my face. It took a good second for me to realize that the noise was caused by said face hitting the washing machine--just above my nose. And by just above my nose I mean, of course, in between my eyes. Seriously. I misjudged so badly that I didn't even clear the area of my face that I am supposed to see out of. I've had a lump between my eyes ever since. I let out a scream and Troy came running. By the time he reached me I was doing the silent cry. Not so much out of extreme pain--although there was that--but more because, suddenly, there was an influx of water pouring from my eyes and mouth at an alarming rate. I can't explain it (never was much of a scientist) but I must have alerted my ducts and glands or something because my eyes were furiously spilling tears and I was somewhat uncontrollably salivating.

Troy kind of cradled me and tried to figure out what had happened because, aside from the loud noise my face made when it hit the washing machine, he hadn't really been left any clues. I was holding my hand between my eyes so he thought I was bleeding. I didn't think I was but, what with the splitting pain, I couldn't properly assess the situation. My sweet son does not like it when I cry. But, at least this time, he knew he didn't cause my tears. Last night some people in our church brought Troy a gift. They'd found a Seahawks Santa hat at the sports store. Garrett knew that it was in the family room so, in an effort to make me stop crying, he sprinted to the couch and retrieved it. Okay, so I imagine he sprinted. I don't really know because my eyes were flooding with tears and, through them, I had begun to see stars. As the sudden siege of tears and saliva subsided and I tried to rub my head to relieve the pain, I saw him standing in the doorway. He was wearing the Seahawks Santa hat and, as we made eye contact, he started dancing and yelling, "Mommy! Ho Ho Ho! Ho Ho Ho Mom!"

Once I made my way to the family room he plopped himself in my lap, hugged me and tried all sorts of silly things to make me laugh. I tried to ice the lump between my eyes but the cold factor made my headache worse. I took Advil. It still hurts. And I look lovely.

The swelling went down enough that we went to lunch at our favorite pizza place and took Garrett to the movies for the first time. There is a dollar theatre nearby so we went to see Madagascar 2. He loved it while the Whoppers lasted and then he wanted his blanket. In fairness to him, it was smack in the middle of his nap time. He made it through the movie and is now taking a late snooze. And I'm finishing laundry--though I have no intention of rescuing fallen socks. They're on their own.

9 comments:

  1. You poor thing. But I'm sure your husband digs the war wound. Sort of Xena-ish. Sexy. Ice, advil and rest. Just what the nurse ordered.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ouch.
    I've done that too, but I don't think to quite that level. Although I once left a gauge in my own forehead with my thumbnail chasing away a bug...that one hurt. I saw stars once when I came down the stairs one day and hit super newly mopped tile, landed on my knees, saw blackness and then stars.
    So sorry it happened to you! Make sure your pupils dilate properly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pictures? Come on, you live far away, I need to make fun of you from here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i have a headache after reading this. glad you were not concussed. and i think i remember something from a psych class long ago about some kind of depth perception disorder, though i highly doubt you have anything to be worried about.

    ReplyDelete
  5. as always, i love your posts! i second the opinion that you should make these amazing stories into a book!

    i have a question for you. Do you know what Molly's (the little calico kitty) birth date is? My parents are trying to figure it out so they can keep tabs on her age and such :)

    Thanks!

    ~Heather

    ReplyDelete
  6. thanks for all of your help! :) Oh I forgot to mention previously that Nicholas and I love watching the little videos that you post of Garrett! He is getting so handsome and big! :)

    ~Heather

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh my gosh...I can totally relate, definitely not to that degree, but there have been times I've whacked my head on the door getting into the car or on the kitchen cabinet when I'm closing it. Usually I cry, not from the pain, but from the sheer embarrassment or frustration that I could seriously do something so silly. sorry about your bump, I bet it really hurt!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so sorry you got hurt but that was a very funny story.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I just happened upon this older post of yours, and have been laughing hysterically at the way you have pieced the words together brilliantly and hilariously!

    I am sorry you were hurt, but man, what a funny way to relay it!!!

    ReplyDelete