Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Topic of Conversation

In two weeks this kid will be two and a half. That's halfway to five. A quarter of the way to ten. And so very far from July of 2006. My heart had not felt the particular kind of love it seized with when he was placed in my arms but it paled in comparison to the way I feel about him now. I didn't know that my capacity of love for him could grow with each passing day, but somehow it does.

And each passing day I am faced with new challenges. New frustrations. New situations that make me wonder what they were thinking when they let me leave the hospital with him. Take, for example, this very moment. He is commando crawling across the carpet screaming, "Want paci. Want taptick (chapstick) now!" You see, I just took it away from him because he'd eaten half of it in under five minutes. Now he is moaning and climbing the stairs, presumably in search of a pacifier. He won't find one. They've been put up in his closet on account of the fact that he's only allowed to have them in bed. Why? Because he's a total addict. He's probably using my cell phone to call his dealer right this minute.

Him: (through wails) Want paci!

Dealer: I got the stuff man. Meet me on your porch.

Him: Want paci NOW!

Dealer: I know, dude. I said I'd be right over...

His new favorite thing is saying Poo poo. All. The. Time. It's his answer for everything. I think that fecal matter and bodily functions must be built in to the conversational skills of males everywhere. I challenge you to have a normal conversation with him and see if you don't hear the word poo poo eighty thousand times.

Me: What do you want for breakfast?

Him: Poo poo.

Me: I love you.

Him: I love you, too, mommy.

Me: Who else do you love?

Him: Poo poo.

Me: Which jammies do you want to wear?

Him: Poo poo ones.

Him: Hi mommy. Poo poo.

Me: You need to go poop?

Him: No.

It's incredibly charming. Especially in public. Every single time we enter a restroom.

Him: Mommy go poo poo!

Me: No bud. I don't need to.

Him: Mommy poo poo. Yucky!

Me: Garrett! I am not going poop!

Really. It's magical. If you'd like to borrow him the next time you're going in to a public restroom, feel free. The conversational possibilities are endless but they will, most likely, involve the topic of bowel movements.

Last night Troy was at church so we had dinner just the two of us. He was being so cute eating a hot dog like a big boy for the very first time that I just had to record some of our conversation. Oddly enough, I don't think he says the word poop. Or maybe I just blocked it out.


  1. That happens to me all the time (the giant paragraph thing). Just switch to html mode and put the spaces in there.

  2. I can't wait to have a conversation with Aiden! I love watching Garrett grow :) CRAZY that it's been 2.5 years since I went stalking your family's myspace pages to confirm that the reason you hadn't been online in a few days was because he was born :-D

  3. at least he is so cute when he says poop...thanks again for everything it was great seeing you guys and getting to hear garrett talk!!!

  4. That is the wonder of being a parent. You can still say and feel all those nice things even on a day when he pours shampoo on the carpet. J

  5. How is it possible that he can seem bigger and a little more grown up to me now, than he did a week ago??? Tell him to slow it down! :)

  6. that's too funny. just the other evening, while putting tristan's pj's on, he was pointing to different body parts on us and naming them (ears, hair, hands etc.) then he got this big grin on his face, pointed to josh's forehead and exclaimed "poo poo!" its totally got to be a male thing. my mistake was that i nearly killed myself laughing which only encouraged him :)

  7. I forget how close our kids are in age. 2.5!!! Isn't it mind-blowing? I cannot conceive of the fact that my son will be three in July. Three sounds so old!

    Poop is a constant around here, too. I like being in a public restroom and having him yell, "Momma POO-POO!" when I clearly did not (because Momma doesn't poo-poo in public places).

  8. Thanks Garrett.

    The public restroom "poo-poo" comments are priceless.