Friday, October 9, 2009

Teenage Girls

I'll likely never have a teenage girl. But I'd be ready for one if I did. When she threw some giant hormonal tantrum or rolled her eyes at me with that look we all perfected at age thirteen, that look that says, You, mother, are dumber than the dirt beneath my feet, I would simply look at her and shake my head. Then I would explain that I'd already parented behavior like that.

My three-year-old sometimes acts like he's at least ten years older than he really is--and that he's also female. So much so that today, at the height of my frustration with him, I pulled his little face close to mine, looked deep into his eyes, and told him to stop acting like a teenage girl.

He has moments where, if I say black, the object in question is most certainly white in his world. If I say sit he wants to stand. If I say no, clearly, the only logical answer is yes. And he has this... tone. I kid you not it's the exact tone I would have when my mother would say, "Don't get that tone with me!" I instruct him to do something and he replies, "Oooookay!" As though, perhaps, he will do as I say but only because he feels like it and not because his mother asked him. Often, he is disinclined to acquiesce to my request. And he lets me know it.

So, tell me, is this a common three-year-old boy thing? Is something wrong in his head? Do I need his estrogen levels tested? I mean, when I had my hormone levels tested back in '04 I had slightly raised testosterone levels so it is possible that my male offspring has extra estrogen. What, you didn't know I had extra testosterone? Yeah. Not something I normally lead with. "Hi. It's so nice to meet you. I have raised levels of testosterone." It's not especially rare. Many females in law, politics and law enforcement have extra T. It's fine. It makes me competitive. Holy cow. I am so off topic.

Back to the question at hand. What the heck is this three-year-old going to be like when he actually is a teenager? Although, to be fair, at least he won't be a teenage girl.


  1. I worked with three year olds for five years and daily equated them to mini-teenagers. They are one in the same if you ask me :)

  2. toddlerhood is a window to the funture but i don't believe its set in stone just be firm and set your rule

  3. I happen to have one of those 13 year old teenage girls! You could most certainly borrow her if you would like the practice. Most days she's free to a good home! :-)

  4. Your children's behaviour is payback from your parents for all the grief that you've given them:)

  5. Oh you have just reminded me of what my future holds!

    Although Zo is really very sweet most of the time, I remember ME as a teen, and I should probably begin praying for my own future and sanity now, should she follow that same path.


  6. The three year old I nanny tells me "no" as often as he breathes. When I'm really irritated with the "no" marathon, I look at him and ask if he just wants to sit there and say no to everything, and then, I get a "yes".

  7. My mother's theory is that the worse the kid is when he's young, the better he'll be as a teenager. She says that's the way I was. Theories abound, but as Christy said, set your rules AND BE CONSISTENT! J

  8. Hhmmm... maybe because he spends more time with mommy, that's why he tends to act like a girl?
    Just a theory, though. Because I read somewhere that all kids have a tendency to be a little effeminate when it comes to attitude. Nut when boys start to interact with other boys as they grow older, they change.