Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Retreat Speaking

Let's talk about the fact that I spoke at a retreat. So other than the fact that I look as though I am self conscious about my left leg...

I spoke at a retreat. I didn't really give you a lot of details when I got back. I moved from speaker mode into planner mode because only two weeks separated the retreat I spoke at from the retreat I was in charge of. The title of my retreat message (I spoke four times) was Clay in the Hands of the Potter: Learning to let go, trust God, and live by faith.

I prayed. A lot. Anything that sounded remotely acceptable was the Lord speaking through me and nothing else. The feedback I received was positive. I'm certain that there were people who thought I sounded like total crud but they respectfully kept their mouths shut.

Several people asked me if I was relieved when it was over. The thing--the really weird thing--the thing I did not expect--was that I wasn't. I felt a certain weight lift off of me, of course, but I was actually kind of...sad. I mean not sad like I was going to go off and cry buckets or anything ridiculous like that but I kind of thought, "Huh. That wasn't so bad. That was actually kind of fun. I think, maybe, I could do that again." And now that the retreat that I was in charge of is over, I find myself thinking about how I kind of really wish I had another retreat on the schedule. This is very strange because I hated my speech class in college with a vengeance. Every time I had to get up and deliver a speech I found myself wishing Point Loma would just topple into the ocean that very minute. So it is odd that I desire to do it again sometime.

It is odd that I desire to do it again sometime...soon. So what I need is for you people to tell me I'm crazy. I need you to tell me that this is a very silly desire. Because if you can't do that, what can I depend on you for, really? If you happened to be at the retreat in California just leave me a little note saying, "You are crazy. I got nothing out of it." If you don't know me or weren't there, just go ahead and say the same thing. Then I can put all of this behind me. Because the truth of the matter is that even if I wasn't horrible, even if I was mediocre at best, even if I could maybe have potential if I practiced a whole lot more and prayed even more than that, I wouldn't have a clue how to go about doing it again. So this is really like everything else I ever wanted to be.

Actress: Yeah. That didn't exactly pan out.
Writer: Still a pipe dream but darn if I'll ever find someone to publish me. And darn if I'd need to conjure up some talent first.
Mother: Okay. Mission accomplished but not without clawing and scraping and getting shots in my butt and not without a great deal of heartache.

So call me crazy. Let the comments come.


  1. First of all, quit pointing out your "flaws" in pictures. No one would notice or care if you didn't point things out. Didn't you learn your lesson from the Scrunchie ordeal? :)
    Second, this is only conjecture, since I was not at either retreat, but I would guess that God is behind your desire to keep retreat-speaking and planning. And if He is, He will bring retreats into your life from out of nowhere. All in His time. J

  2. no way jose, i will NOT leave you a negative comment. you were so great. i was so completely bummed that i only got to hear ONE of your messages. did they make a tape by chance? oooh, i could get YOU to make me a tape! or i guess it could be on a cd, gosh heidi get your butt out of 1985....

    also i think the writing thing needs pursuing. most definitely. even if you start out writing a short story for a parenting magazine of some cheesy little book like "a cup of comfort for mothers" or something like that. so many of your blog posts could easily be published as is. i really truly believe that.

  3. p.s. saying that your writing could be published in a cheesy little book does not mean that i think any of your writing is cheesy. just had to clarify.

  4. Well, I could be a tad biased, but I thought you were GREAT!!! Which is why I already put my dibs in for being your booking agent when you get so big that you can't keep your retreat speaking life figured out. I want to travel with you and hear you speak EVERY time. Must be some weird risidule thing left over from sitting beside bizillions of pools watching you swim when you were a kid. I never could get enough.

  5. your message was GREAT! you spoke to everyone. who doesn't worry???? Your message touched me and I am glad that GOD spoke through you at our retreat. I will vote for a return speech......

    thanks Lori!

  6. Your CRAZY!! Wanting to speak in front of people what are you saying. Oh I know what it is.... It's God the Holy Spirit wanting to shout out your awesome story so more will see how powerful our God is. Fitting the code word so I can post is light!! Psalms 119:130a

  7. First off I thought that you did an amazing job!
    Second, if this is something that you feel you'd actually like to do then do it! It is something that I have always wanted to do. Speak and be able to inspire people. Whether it is me doing the inspiring or God. Plus most speaking engagements pay at least $200 for the night and more for a retreat. You can google Christian Women Speakers and find several sites that will let you register as a speaker with your price and location. Then when Womens Ministries are looking for speakers they can go to these sites and possibly find you. You would also be able to list topics that you'd like to discuss. You can reuse your Clay in the hands of the potter for other churches as they have not heard it! The other thing that you can do is get in contact with whatever organization your church is affiliated with. As you know our is the SWBGC, they also keep a list of speakers. We have used that list when looking for speakers for our events. Yours may have the same thing and you can get on their list.
    Good luck you are awesome!

  8. Umm... you have plenty of writing talent.

  9. Well, if your speaking is anything like your writing, you'd be a GREAT speaker. ;)


  10. Lori. You don't need people to talk you into or out of anything. If God is calling you to do something, it will be clear to you. And if it's not something God wants you to do, you will NOT succeed. Generally it involves being humbled. It's really fun.

    You forgot to add 'impersonating Christopher Walken' and 'disliking ghosts' to your list of aspirations.

  11. ps, my auction is on the 24th. I'll write a thing for you after that. love ya.