Thursday, October 1, 2009

The One Where My Brother Disowns Me

Okay so, first things first, this is my brother and his wife. Let's just get it out of the way right now. Let's all agree that they just shouldn't reproduce on account of the fact that they are both so hideous. Jon and Heather couldn't do a photo shoot for a dentist or orthodontist or Colgate or anything. Certainly not. Gosh. I'm so glad I'm not as ugly as they are.

In all actuality, I'm still trying to figure out how Jon got all the looks and the brains. I mean, I just feel like there is some kind of law of averages that should have come into play in our family.

There I go, down the aisle in what my son refers to as my Juliet dress. It was a Chamber of Commerce day. The kind of day I think about in the dead of January when there is three feet of snow outside my door. The kind of day that makes me nostalgic for the grass between my toes on a day in late May at Point Loma Nazarene University when I was a college student. What I'm thinking is, "Marina Village, I'm going to send you the bill for aerating your lawn. Gosh I hope I can continue to successfully remove my heels from the ground. If I got stuck right here at the end of the aisle would the other bridesmaids gather around and lift me out?" What you don't see in this picture is the gorgeous marina that I'm walking toward.

Oh. Here it is.

That there is my brother smiling bigger than I've ever seen him smile. And that's saying a lot because my brother thinks his own gas is uproarious. He'll probably resent that I just shared that with all of the blogging world but, you know what, I so don't care. Because I'm still irritated at the whole "getting all the looks" thing. Plus he just got back from his honeymoon, is moving into his apartment with his wife today, and opened a boatload of gifts yesterday so I think he'll get over the fact that I said he thinks his farts are funny. Also in the picture are my cousin, Kyle, my husband, Troy, who served as the best man, and one seriously sweet ring bearer. Speaking of the ring bearer, let it be known that if The Rock Star wore a tuxedo every day, he could get anything he wanted out of me. "Hey mommy, can I have a chocolate bar for breakfast?" Well, sure. I don't see why not. "Can I have eighteen puppies, a twenty pound boa constrictor and a Shetland pony?" Garrett, I must admit, that sounds like a great idea. Seriously. Few things have melted my heart like my three-year-old in a tux.

I used to look like my dad. For real. Our baby pictures are, like, identical except that his are black and white and mine are in color. I used to think my mom was just an egg donor and a warm place to grow. But now...

I gotta admit, I see the resemblance. My mom's dress was b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. The picture doesn't do it justice. I'm wearing my grandma's necklace. It was a perfect match and it choked me up way more than I thought it would that she wasn't at my brother's wedding. It made me feel better to have a piece of her around my neck.

Garrett's shirt said, "Ring Security" and he switched into it about halfway through the reception. And Matthew had socks on but then he somehow managed to throw up baby food all over them. I love all those boys. They complete me. They. Complete. Me.

Photos are courtesy of my aunt's facebook because, well, I only took like two pictures with my camera.


  1. Your whole family is beautiful!!!

    I know exactly where the wedding was held. What a great location!

    Re: Tux on boys. When they hit high school and need to rent tux for proms, just remember that tux stores will let them have their choice of tux free if they model tux choices to school for a week.

    And there is nothing funnier than seeing a big strapping 16 year old boy in a tux at 7 am, eating Trix cereal at the breakfast table then heading out to school. Why men don't wear tux 24/7 is a mystery to me. Kilts would work good too!

  2. I think I get credit for that family picture. I emailed it to Vicki. :) By leaving this comment, I guess I am no longer a silent reader. It was great seeing you and your sweet family.
    Much love,
    Karen K-G

  3. My grandson wore a kilt at my daughter's wedding. Talk about stunningly handsome, and better yet because he didn't even know it. J (And I LOVE my husband in a tux!)

  4. My grandson was three at the time. J

  5. Oh, I love your dress! And so is Garrett's tux. He'll grow up to be a dashing, young man, I'm telling you.

    Your brother's smile is blinding, btw. :D Congratulations to him!