We don't know much but here's what we know so far:
We need our own representation in California. We have a call into the recommended attorney. Hopefully we'll be able to scrape together the retainer. We have no idea how much that will be. Please pray that it's a figure we can get ahold of.
We are struggling with this. We certainly don't want to steal a baby from his birth father but we have been given reasons why we feel like he might not be the best option to raise Matthew. We really don't feel like this is the right forum to speculate on someone's character or ability, but such concerns DO play into our decision making and prayers. Additionally, I spoke to Jennifer yesterday and she is still completely committed to us raising Matthew. She wants him here and will back us 100%. So, if we chose not to fight this, we'd be going against her wishes. She said that I am his mother and that I love him as though he came from my own womb and I show no difference between my love for him and my love for Garrett and that he absolutely has to stay with us. Um...I'm glad that Matthew's birth mother can see what I know to be true.
I was talking to God. I asked why. I didn't mean why is this happening to us and not someone else. I simply meant why is it happening at all. What are we supposed to be learning and how should we proceed from here? I know that Troy and I didn't do anything wrong in this situation. We didn't go in with our eyes closed. There were no red flags. Yesterday Jennifer reiterated that God had led her to pick us and she believes that he is exactly where he is supposed to be. It struck me when she said--again--that God led her to us. I know that he is in control but it just made me realize that, for some reason, we are exactly where we're supposed to be. Whether we are supposed to be Matthew's parents for two months or a lifetime, God placed us here.
I take some small amount of comfort in knowing that my God trusts me with this. I sure wish he didn't have as much confidence in me. I certainly don't see whatever he sees. But I'm being held by a force much, much bigger than myself.