Saturday, March 21, 2009

The One In Which I Talk About Members...Again

Alright so, I'd post a picture but it would be wildly inappropriate. See the thing is, you all know that poor Matthew had part of his little boyhood removed earlier this week. The doctor said that the ring (PastiBell method) would fall off within 4 to 7 days and that, if a week actually passed with it still attached, we should bring him back. Well, it's been four and a half days and, while the ring is still technically attached, it's hanging on by a thread. We were told not to pull it off.

Earlier this afternoon I was changing a poopy diaper. Garrett is absolutely obsessed with the fact that his brother poops and wants to assist any and all diaper changes just in case there is a poop inside. Whenever I get ready to change Matthew, Garrett screams, "Matthew is poopy?" Sometimes I reply with yes and sometimes I reply with I don't know yet. Any time that I say the latter, Garrett gleefully yells, "Maybe!" So, being that I knew this particular diaper was poopy, Garrett was so excited you'd have thought it was Christmas. Matthew was shrieking so I sent Garrett in search of the pacifier while I took care of his business. The ring is literally laying next to Little Matthew and is only attached by a thin piece of skin.

When Garrett ran back into the room with the pacifier he quickly pounced on the bed, crawled speedily over to the baby and exclaimed, "Matthew's penis has a tag!"

And if I told you I didn't almost die laughing, I'd be lying. Then I had a hysterical vision of people heading out to the local WalMart to hand select their own, personal, members. "Can I get a price check appendages?" Just don't forget to cut off that tag when you get it home.

Oh man, I really need to stop talking about penises on my blog. It's getting out of hand.


  1. I was going to comment about the penises, but everything I started to type seemed suggestive. I am so 13.

  2. You are going to get interesting search engine hits now...

  3. I just love how when he asks if it's poopy and you say you don't know he responds with "maybe!" optimistic. HAHAHA

  4. HA! What info could the tag have on it, I wonder? Size? Origin? (made in China) Material? Washing instructions? (do NOT use bleach. tumble dry low with like colors. do not dry clean or iron.) Oh man, the possibilities.

  5. Hi Lori - I just began reading your blog today, and of course would happen on the one with you spewing about male genetalia. Too funny!

  6. This is hysterical! I was blog hopping and came across your blog... I will be praying for your family!!