Friday, November 16, 2007

The Theatre

I visited one of my college roommates today and we went over to the campus for a little while. She needed to pick something up at First Church and I wanted to see if Doc was in his office. He was and so he got to meet Garrett. I'm sure neither of them cared much about meeting the other but it was important to me. I consider that boy my greatest production and my director ought to have met him before we moved. Since it is highly inappropriate for a toddler to actually see a show, I had to make a special trip to introduce the munchkin. Doc had exactly three minutes to chat with me before his rehearsal started. As I walked out of his office I told Garrett that it would have been cool if he could have stood on the stage but they had a rehearsal and we had to go. Doc exclaimed, "Bring him in!"

I know he's a baby. I know it was coincidence. I know I'm being absurd but that kid, grumpy from lack of napping, squealed with delight--pure delight--when I plopped him on that stage. He ran around, he gently touched the tormentor, he stared at the ghost lamp, he ran into the center of the stage, gazed out and started babbling. I'm-not-even-kidding. Doc even said, "He's saying his lines." So, maybe it's in his blood? Maybe? I mean, I did take him to Broadway when he was just a teeny little embryo.

And all of that led me to think about the theatre and all the glorious parts I'd love to have, roles I'd just die to play. Oh what I'd give to be Glinda in Wicked. I want to travel by bubble. I want to flirt and flounce. I can say, "It is good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer, that was rhetorical" like the best of 'em. Oh I could so be Glinda. If God had made me a freakishly high soprano. But he didn't.

Oh what I'd give to be Liesl in The Sound of Music. I want to frolic around a gazebo. I do. I want to say, "Weeeeee!" after Rolf kisses me. I want to wear curtains for clothing. I could so be Liesl...if I were still sixteen going on seventeen.

Oh what I'd give to be Maureen in Rent. I want to ride a motorcycle onto the stage. I want to make the audience moo with me. I want to to sing, "Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?" I could so be Maureen in Rent...if I didn't think it would be a serious problem if I made out with a girl on stage.

Oh what I'd give to be Frankie Valli in Jersey Boys. I could be Frankie Valli...well, if I were a man.

Oh what I'd give to be Laurey in Oklahoma. Wait, no, I don't actually like Oklahoma all that much.

Oh what I'd give to be Gilmer in Godspell. Oh yah, I was Gilmer in Godspell. Fun times.

Oh what I'd give to be Olivia in Twelfth Night. I was Maria in Twelfth Night. Maria is, not exactly, Olivia.

Oh what I'd give to be Lady Macbeth. I want to walk around in a lunatic-induced haze wringing my hands. I want to say, "Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!—One; two: why, then 'tis time to do't. —Hell is murky. —Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our pow'r to accompt?—Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?" I could so be Lady Macbeth if...wait a minute. I could so be Lady Macbeth.


  1. I want to be Elphaba in Wicked....Lucy in Charlie Brown...Marion in Music Man...Tracy in Hairspray...and I think I could conquer Ophelia in Hamlet, just give me a chance!

    I love how you think.

  2. I, too, obviously want to be Elphaba in Wicked as well. But since I had to pick one and Glinda has the freakishly high soprano...yah.