Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Celery is the New Chocolate

I'm not feeling very bloggy today. Leaves are blowing off the trees out my window at an alarming rate, I am surrounded by tubs and boxes, and my son is a full blown boy, adios babyhood. I should rake the leaves, pack the tubs and watch my son grow up...instead of, you know, discussing mayonnaise.

I used to love mayonnaise. Slather some on a turkey sandwich and my stomach would smile. That is not the case anymore. Early in high school I was at Burger King and realized that you cut the fat in half (IN HALF) on a Whopper if you removed the creamy spread. I started replacing mayonnaise with mustard on everything I possibly could. I still eat potato salad and egg salad and tuna sandwiches (using very little mayo) but I cannot stand to bring out the best foods for anything else.

And when I have to, for the purpose of making my mayo-loving hubby a sandwich, I cringe, hold my breath, and try desperately not to get it on my hands. When a smear appears across my fingers, the gag reflex starts...well, reflexing. I used to love it. L-O-V-E. And now I detest it. All of this was accomplished by the power of my own mind convincing me that I did not need hoards of extra calories, that I could eat two Whoppers for the fat of one (not that I eat two, mind you, cuz I don't), and that the world would be a better place if I stopped eating mayo.

Now, if only I could do this with chocolate.

Celery is the new chocolate. Celery is the new chocolate. Celery is the...yah, it's not working.


  1. I have done the same. Down with mayo! Heather doesn't eat it either, so I don't have the whole no-mayo-on-the-hands dilemma. Celery is good and all, but it aint no chocolate.

  2. Blasphemy!
    Nothing can replace all that is chocolate. It is beautiful and delicious. Don't fight the LOVE!

    Also, just want to make sure you're ok with me adding you to my links list.