Saturday, June 15, 2013

Jennifer Garner Is My Alias

In my past, I never really Aliased. (I totally thought I was making that word up but then my spell checker didn't flag it at all. Hold please. Okay I'm back. doesn't recognize it. Aliased: to have, at one point in time, taken on an alias? I don't know. What I mean by it is that I've never watched and, therefore, been hooked on the television series Alias.) It started in 2001 when I was at the very height of my collegiate career. I watched Friends once a week, nearly without fail, and that was about it.

I do remember watching several episodes of what must have been season four when we lived in our home in southern California. I think it was summer and I was catching reruns because I was completely bored with any network shows that might have been airing in the middle of July. I recall that it was intriguing but, not knowing any of the back story, I was moderately confused.

It's becoming somewhat of a tradition in our home to add the Internet streaming Netflix (the one that costs less than 10 dollars a month) when our favorite shows go on hiatus. We don't watch a lot of TV and I've contemplated getting rid of our cable on several occasions. The trouble is, we love ourselves some sports. As far as sitcoms and dramas go, we only watch a few shows. Still, when those go on break for the summer, we like to have something to watch when we're cuddled on the couch together--or, as it actually is, as far apart as humanly possible with fans blowing on both of us.

This is how we watched all the seasons of 24.

It's now how we're watching Alias.

Obsessively, on my part. Except, the trouble is that my laptop processes videos at the speed of a terminally ill snail and Troy's has been randomly shutting down in the middle of an episode. So now we watch Alias on my Nook. In our bed. In the dark. With headphones on because Garrett swung Troy's mini speaker by the cord and the speaker decided that was enough of that and kicked the bucket.

All of this to say that I want to be Sydney Bristow when I grow up. Or maybe I want to be Jennifer Garner playing Sydney Bristow when I grow up. I'm not actually sure. Do I want to be a double agent for the CIA or do I want to be an actress playing a double agent for the CIA? I think the answer is fairly obvious. Although pastor's wife/substitute teacher/mother by day would be a pretty good cover. The other night I attempted to convince my six-year-old that I work for Central Intelligence. He narrowed his eyes, "Are you serious?" he asked. "Have you ever killed anyone?" I quickly realized that his biggest dream come true would probably be to have a mother who kick boxed people to unconsciousness and so I told him I was just kidding.

I've really always liked Jennifer Garner a great deal as an actress. Then there's this hilarious video where she's just, well, keepin' it so real that how can you not love her?

But Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow? It's just...well...amazing. Like, if Sydney and Jack Bauer got together and had children, those kids would actually take over and rule the world. Before anyone even had a clue that it was happening. She speaks her mind and is not afraid of conflict, she throws punches, she wears power tank tops. She's like my very own character foil. Practically opposite in every way.

So now I sit in my bed, watching the tiny Nook screen and holding my husband's hand and I think about taking up kickboxing and applying for a job with the CIA.

Until they hire me though, I just contemplate the fact that I know Jennifer Garner and I would be absolute fast friends if given the opportunity. Because sometimes I forget what day it is too.

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