Dear Humana

Dear Humana,

Out of curiosity, why did you call me on the morning of May 4 and inquire as to whether or not my April ear pain had subsided if you knew that you would deny me on the basis that my polycystic ovaries and benign breast lump made me a high risk applicant?

Out of curiosity, why do I have to be without medical coverage for six months before I qualify for your high risk insurance? Do you not want my money for those six months?

Out of curiosity, what is it about the word benign that has you running scared? Usually the word that people don't want to hear is malignant.

Out of curiosity, why are you and every other health insurance on the planet so terrified of polycystic ovaries? Between 5% and 10% of women of childbearing age have them. I assure you that they do not come out at night, grab the nearest knife, and attempt to murder physicians. They don't even try to murder underwriters. They just stay where they are and don't bother anyone.

Out of curiosity, why don't you pull medical records before you deny people? Why don't you inquire as to whether doctors are concerned with the patient's medical condition? I'll have you know that at my last annual exam, the doctor told me I was the picture of health. My life insurance has me listed as Super Preferred. I eat pretty well, exercise, and manage to get out of bed each and every day.

I asked the lady on the phone--the one who told me that if I'm free of my cystic ovaries and any breast condition for ten years I can have Humana insurance--why I was denied for reasons that do not have any baring whatsoever on my health. She told me, in a nutshell, that whether I think so or not, I'm high risk.

That answer made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Sincerely,
The Uninsurable Risky Patient