Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Rings & Things

This morning, as I was changing Garrett's diaper, he made a gagging sound and shrieked, "Bad poopie!" You know it's awful when the producer starts making comments.

Yesterday I was waiting to pick up my prescription at WalMart. I had decided to return for it at a later time--when my eyes were less covered in hideous sunglasses. There was some sort of problem with our insurance card and their computer so it took forever. While I was waiting a girl came up to drop off her prescription. She put her left hand on the counter and I immediately noticed the gorgeous and, might I add, humongous rock on her ring finger. I glanced at her and thought that she looked very young. This is not unusual in these parts so I didn't think much about it. Plus, I've been mistaken for a high schooler as recently as a couple of years ago so I'm not really one to talk. But then. Then I heard the following conversation...

Pharmacist: Have you filled here before?
Girl with incredible diamond covered ring: Oh yeah.
Pharmacist: Okay, date of birth?
Girl with incredible diamond covered ring: May 18, 1992 (Honestly I cannot remember the month and day because I was too busy trying not to pass out over the year.)

It didn't take me long to do the math. I was born in 81. That makes me eleven years older than this woman. I mean girl. I mean teenager. That makes her SIXTEEN!

And I should not be judging. I mean, it could have been a family heirloom. On her left ring finger. It could have been a figment of my imagination. There are so many logical explanations for why a sixteen year old (unless her birthday was in November or December in which case she is fifteen) is married. Alright, truthfully, I didn't want to stare hard enough to detect a wedding band so, for all I know, it's just an engagement ring. Engagements break off all the time. I should know. But I was completely beside myself. I wanted to yell for my husband, who was corralling my son in the hair product section, to, "Get over here and get a load of this! ONLY IN UTAH!" I did not. I refrained. Tell me that it is custom in these parts to give your daughters ridiculously large diamond rings for their sixteenth birthdays and then insist that they wear them on their left ring fingers.


  1. Was it fake? Was she trying to impress someone? Was it a purity ring? You know, so the men-folk would know she was taken, but really she was just waiting until she grew up so she could meet some nice man and get married without parental permission. Just thoughts. J

  2. Here's what it really was. Her grandfather was in the Russian mafia. You know, in Russia. And he offed a lot of people, making a ton of money. One of the ladies he offed had a huge diamond ring. So he gave it to his little girl (blog subject girl's mother). And, being that he didn't want to have to off her boyfriend(s) in the future, he told her to wear it on her left hand. You know, to fool all the dudes. And she decided to pass it on to her daughter for her sixteenth birthday (enter blog subject girl). And she told her to wear it on her left hand so that Grampy will never have to off his granddaughter's boyfriend(s) in the future. I mean, obviously this is a logical explanation.

  3. Ya, I'm sure that Jon's idea is exactly what was going on with her.

  4. Hmmm. Tis suspicious isn't it? I would have asked her about it.....and then asked her if she thought it would actually cut glass, and could we please try right then. You would have found out if it was fake or not then.

  5. I'm thinking fake. Cause I'm feeling really cheated if it's the custom in Utah to give daughters huge diamond rings, and I never got so much as a cubic zirconia.

  6. I chuckle... any further comment would be considered religious profiling given your location - no doubt she was carrying a Coach, Prada or Dolce handbag too! Welcome to our world!

  7. Not only in Utah!! There's Texas too! Probably fake to keep creeps away.