So I was six years old when I just came right out and asked my mom where babies come from. I don't remember how it all went down but I'm sure it involved a very determined little girl who wouldn't take the stork for an answer. My own son is six and don't think it hasn't crossed my mind that someday soon he's going to shock me (Think: The Great Tooth Fairy Revelation over chili dogs) with, "Where do babies come from? No, really? How do they get there? Seriously. Mom, mom, mom, mom tell me now! Tell me how God gets the baby in there."
And in my case it seems that God got the baby in there with a great deal of miracle work but that's only going to pacify him for so long.
Suffice it to say, I am not ready to talk to my six-year-old boy about sex. So let's hope our conversation last night doesn't turn into a quest for knowledge.
Because last night we were going over the 10 commandments. I got to number seven. You know the one. The rule about not committing adultery.
"What's adultery?" he asked.
Great. Thrilling. One simply cannot adequately explain adultery without first explaining sex and he's six and I'm not ready! And, technically, he wasn't even asking. He just wanted to know what the heck a big, weird word meant.
I thought for a couple of quick seconds and then replied, "Adultery is when someone sleeps with a person they aren't married to." He cocked his head to side and narrowed his eyes because, clearly, that was super confusing. "I mean, I can't sleep with another man. I can only sleep with daddy. And daddy can't sleep with another woman. He can only sleep with mommy. Otherwise we're breaking God's law and it makes Him really unhappy."
He nodded as if he kind of understood.
"So, I can only get in bed with daddy. Would it be okay if I crawled into bed with Mr. J----?" (Name omitted to protect the innocent man I'd just seen. The man I am definitely not participating in any extracurricular activities with.)
Garrett screwed up his face and yelled, "NO! That would not be okay!"
So we dodged a bullet last night. And my child is slightly misinformed about the definition of adultery. Ah well. It is what it is.