Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The House

I have a gas fireplace here in this mansion. It might be a problem. I might have an enormous heating bill since I run it for many hours a day. I might miss being warm in Ramona. I might use the word might way too much. I might not care.

Let me tell you about how I live in a five level house. That's one, two, three, four, FIVE. You walk in on the third level. If you go upstairs you will find Garrett's room, playroom, a bathroom and the guest room on the fourth level. If you go up four more stairs you will find the master bedroom, very large master bath, and master closet that is a dream come true. If you walk in the front door and do not choose to go up the stairs you will find the living room and kitchen. If you go down the four more stairs you would be on the second level, which is the family room and another bathroom. If you go down a flight of stairs you would be in the basement, where the office is. Plus another bathroom. Plus some storage rooms. It's insane. We could have, I don't know, eleven kids and live comfortably. Hey...wait a I get it.

By the way, if you want to hide in my house and murder me and my family, I just gave you a pretty good description of where to conceal yourself. I wouldn't try it though. We just installed a million dollar security system. In addition, if you bump into any of our strategically placed trip wires, you will be slaughtered by daggers and/or poisoned arrows. Also, we have hired a dozen ninjas to sleep in our closets. So, don't plan to murder me. I'm just saying, is all.


  1. OK, you aren't kidding about the mansion. If I ever go to Utah, you can bet I will be booking a room in your hotel! (Even though our friendship hasn't quite taken us to that level, I'd do it anyway. Because I am willing to cross boundaries when it comes to saving money.)

  2. I have to tell you I froze when I read this entry. A church in St. Paul just bought the 150-year-old mansion across the street. Literally, a robber-baron-type mansion. It was a house we looked at when we first moved here, but we deemed it "WAY TOO BIG, HOLY COW!" to purchase. (Mansions aren't that pricey in these parts.) But the church bought it, and I drove by tonight, wondering if they had a new pastor or what the story was behind the purchase.

    When I saw your post, I nearly flipped out at the idea of the coincidence. I had to keep reading your blog to discover you're in Utah, not Minnesota. LOL... There I was, thinking I was going to deliver your Starbucks card in person!

    Congrats on the new house! It looks terrific!