Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I Pity the Fool

Once upon a time, my kids started quoting Gary Coleman. And then I was all kinds of terrified that people would judge us and think that I taught it to my black son on purpose. That was back when I cared a little bit more about what people thought about my family. 

It was definitely back before my kids discovered reruns of the A-team.

And so, it was long before my youngest child became obsessed with saying, "I pity the fool!" (Except, he says it fast so it kind of sounds like he's saying, "I pee the fool!")

It was definitely before he asked his daddy if he could have a mohawk like Mr. T.

Matthew hates having his hair combed--regardless of what kind of expensive product I purchase to make the process less traumatic. He likes to keep his hair short so that we can avoid the combing altogether. When we got back from California, Matthew's hair was getting too long to just leave alone. We gave him two choices.

1. We start combing your hair.

2. We cut your hair.

As always, he opted for choice number two. But, apparently, when Troy took him upstairs, Matthew begged for a mohawk like Mr. T. The kids were still off track so Troy obliged. Of course, Matthew loved it and started pitying the fool even more than normal. In fact, at one point, I was making dinner. I made some sort of mess and let out an unhappy groan. 

"What's the matter?" Matthew asked me.

"I spilled this," I replied.

He shook his head back and forth. "Oh man," he said. "I pity the fool."

So apparently, in this scenario, I was the fool in question.

Anyway. School started today. But Matthew loves his Mr. T hair and he wanted to keep it. And you know what we decided? IT'S JUST HAIR. He likes it. He's not wearing gold chains and/or tattooing PITY and FOOL on his knuckles. He's just sporting the frohawk.

(His head is totally crooked in this next picture. His hair is actually quite straight.)

He wants to grow it BIG and TALL. We'll see. But there are hills to die on and, at this point in the parenting game, my son's hair isn't going to be one of them. I'm just so happy that both of my sons are alive and well and happy and I couldn't care less what their hair looks like.

And if people have any kind of problem with it well, you know what???

I pity the fool.

Really, no one has said they don't like it. I just wanted to say, "I pity the fool."


  1. I think PITY and FOOL knuckle tats is a great idea. That's all the poor fools will see as they get pummeled by fists of fury.

    But seriously, his hair is awesome.

    And...what are you doing Lewis?

  2. I love it!!! The A-Team is classic. My brothers and I loved that show. If I heard your son say "I pity the fool!" I would laugh and high-five him because that is AWESOME. Keep being awesome, Matthew. :-)

  3. a very wise person once told me that there were way bigger things to stress over than "hair". That boy is going to be quite the looker when he grows into his shoulders.