Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Will the Sneezing Ever End?

Huzzah! My children went to school today!

Not huzzah! I went to urgent care.

Last night my ear started to feel not good, and, when I say "not good" I mean that IT WAS THROBBING AND HURTING AND DOING A LOT MAKING ITS POSITION ON MY HEAD VERY WELL KNOWN. Also the entire left side of my face felt like it was going to explode straight off my face spewing bits of skin and freckles and sinus cavity all over the place.

Sorry for that.

But it's true.

So I got to urgent care at 8:05. Five minutes after it opened. I was finally seen at 9:28 and at 9:36 I was in my car, driving away. It didn't take a medical degree OR 100 dollars to look in my ear and declare, "Well, this will come as quite a shock but you have an ear infection." You're kidding? I had NO idea.

Also, I went to bed at 8:00 last night and got up at 7:00 this morning. And also I am back in bed right now and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I also didn't care enough to take my jacket off when the nurse weighed me. For the record, when I was PREGNANT, I cared so much about weight gain that I wore light weight shorts, tank tops and flip flops to my appointments. AND I WAS PREGNANT. I had the best excuse of all for gaining weight. Today I was like, Bulky sneakers. CHECK. Jeans and a thick cotton shirt. CHECK. Jacket. YOU KNOW IT!

Because, for real, I went through nine Kleenex during that hour and a half and sneezed approximately 52 times and so what's a little weight gain? But I totally left with a prescription for Amoxicillin and Flonase and I'm taking it like a boss because I have exactly 19 hours before I'm hanging out with a classroom full of kindergartners. You wanna know a sure fire way to get better? GIVE YOURSELF A DEADLINE.

I simply cannot still feel like this tomorrow. I'll let you know if assigning a deadline to the amount of time I am allotted for feeling bad actually works. If I'm right, I'll feel better. If I'm wrong, I'll be singing kiddie songs in my most nasal of voices, asking them to count my sneezes, and yelling, "BE QUIET, YOUR VOLUME IS HURTING MY EAR!"

All things that would make for a fantastic substitute, I'm sure.

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