Friday, July 25, 2008

The Neurotic Dog Strikes Again

I'm not endorsing a particular candidate on this here blog. Mainly that's because, like I said before, I think the prospects are dismal. Although I did see a pretty funny SNL sketch with McCain. So if I were voting on humor alone, I might have a candidate. But I'm not sure one should base her voting criteria strictly on funny. Obama is definitely the one I'd rather look at for four to eight years but, then, I don't think I should vote on looks alone. I suppose I'd better start researching their actual political views. Oh bother, that sounds like such a bore. Deep sigh. With all of that being said, if you haven't seen the new JibJab video, you maybe should. I'll warn you that there is a reference to cigars because, well, it features Bill Clinton and there are also a few slightly naughty words. Not words that particularly offend me but words that would horrify me if spoken by my toddler. But it is so worth the watch, even if only to laugh at Barack Obama prancing around the forest like he's Snow White.
I live in a house with an extremely neurotic dog. It would be endearing if it weren't so annoying. Apparently July 24 is a major holiday. I didn't know this until I moved to Utah but even my bank was closed in honor of Pioneer Day--the date that Brigham Young discovered the valley, or something like that. So, Utahns set off fireworks in honor of this holiday. Our dog is deathly afraid of fireworks and we'd gone out to dinner with friends and left him alone in the yard. If I had known that the entire valley was going to set off fireworks while I was gone, I would have come up with a better idea. When we got home I opened the back door and called for him. The house directly behind us was having their own show right in their front yard. I knew that the dog would be panicked. I called and called. Then I looked in all the bushes and under the deck. Then I very nearly burst into tears as I came back in the house, looked at Troy and declared, "He's gone. I can't find him anywhere." We're talking about my very first baby here. That dog took naps on my lap every afternoon when he was a puppy. He was basically my child until my son was born and he had to become The Dog. When I was in labor I worried about him because he'd been left outside alone all night and all morning. I managed to sleep for about a half hour after I'd been given the Epidural and I dreamed that I tried to leave the hospital to go check on him but kept falling over because I had no feeling in my legs. I think most of that had to do with all the emotions of being in labor but it doesn't change the fact that I am head over heels in love with that dog. The idea of him running frantically around Salt Lake City turned my stomach. We also live close to a major road and finding doggie guts is not my idea of a good time. Troy told me that he'd get in the car and look for him. I ran back outside and started screaming his name. Suddenly I heard the rattle of a collar. I called again. Rattle. I followed the noise. Beck was on the other side of our fence, running parallel to it, trying to get back in. The gates weren't open, there was no sign of any digging. This led us to the assumption that he'd jumped the fence. Our fence is quite short and we've been wondering why he hasn't ever tried to jump it before. We had chalked it up to a content animal who has no need to check and see if the grass is greener on the other side. Apparently, however, he did want to know if the noises were less scary on the other side. I have no clue where he went but he was close enough to hear my hollering. Now I'm afraid he'll hop it anytime he feels like it. I so hope that doesn't happen because one day he might disappear for good and I just don't think I'd handle that very well.

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