Gotcha

I hate the term Gotcha Day.

In adoption circles, Gotcha Day is used as the term for the day you meet the child you've been waiting for. Having adopted both of my children from infancy, it's not really a word I've much had to deal with in my own life. However, there are plenty of people who refer to the official court hearing for finalization as Gotcha Day. Adoption agencies, parents, lawyers, social workers, etc, use this phrase. And I really, really, really, really, really, really hate it. The kind of hatred that when I see it I shutter inside and want to scroll past whatever I'm looking at as fast as possible.

I mean, if you use it, you'll keep on doing it and that's fine. If your children really just think this is a fantastic term, then, "yay!" I guess. I'm certainly glad they like it. And, really, if you disagree, I would love to hear your positive spin on this phrase.

But, dude. Just think for a second about what other ways you use the word gotcha.

A rousing game of tag in which the person you are chasing DOES NOT WANT TO BE CAUGHT. You run just a hair faster than he does. He stumbles over a tuft of grass. You reach out your hand and with the tips of your fingers, swipe his back. "Gotcha!"

A hairy spider meanders quickly over the carpet toward you. His one intent, probably, is to devour you, piece by teeny, tiny piece. You jump up, stamp your shoe clad foot on top of his unsuspecting body, twist your toes to make sure he's good and dead and, with the tone of an evil murderer, mutter, "Gotcha."

You crouch quietly behind a door in the dark. You hear your unsuspecting victim coming up the stairs. Suddenly, you leap from your hiding place and scream, "Boo!" The victim squeals. She jumps a mile. You dissolve into hysterics. "Gotcha!" you laugh.

Someone is hanging off the edge of the cliff and you reach down. You take his arm in your two hands and hoist him back up to safety. You've saved his life. Without you, where would he be?

Gotcha is some slang term we use when we acquire something. It implies a forceful grabbing and I imagine Gollum snatching the ring and stroking it, greedily. (Look at me referencing LOTR in an adoption blog. My husband will be so proud.) It focuses on the parents' joy but turns the child into some kind of commodity, a thing to possess. Also, for every action, there is an equal opposite reaction. What should birth parents call these days? And for the child who is losing all she's ever known, is this a Lostya Day?

Gotcha Day implies that we've saved these children. Or that we've obtained them. It implies that we did something in our own power to snag them. When, really, it's God who allowed us the privilege of having them in our presence.

And you have to know that even if I agreed with the definition of the word being used for adoption, I'd hate the slang in the way that I hate it when mini marts are called KwickyStoppe. Why not call it what it is? Adoption Day. It's only one extra syllable.

What do you think? Am I wrong?