Wednesday, May 20, 2015

To the One Who Might Consider Us

I wish I could sit down with every woman who looks at our profile and hold her hand and tell her who we are. I wish I could say this. I wish I could say so much more...

Dear Mom,

What you see in our letter is merely us in the smallest of nutshells. Each section is a paragraph resume highlighting our family, our faith, our passions. We don't really live in the highlights, though. They are the bullet points but the real living happens between the lines. How can we show you who we are in such a tiny space? Especially when there are four of us vying for your attention? That letter is some of us. You've seen the short resume; the love of travel and sports and theatre, the Christian home and the closeness of our family. What we really wish, though, is for you to be a fly on our wall. We wish that you could really feel who we are.

We are a family of air bands and dance parties--all four of us hopping around like maniacs and only one of us with any rhythm to speak of. We love movie nights with popcorn and all of us draped over each other under blankets on the couch with our fire place blazing and snow falling outside. Every night, we snuggle our boys in their beds, knowing that tomorrow they will be one day older and a little bit bigger. We love ice cream cones on road trips and surprise stays in hotel rooms because the boys think hotels are the very best thing in the whole wide world. We eat vegetables and salads and fruit and put healthy things in our bellies. We also eat Happy Meals because life is too short not to have McDonald's from time to time. We cheer loudly and proudly when our boys score a goal but we remind them that it's about having fun and learning and good sportsmanship. We laugh until tears are rolling down our faces. We kiss chubby cheeks and give long hugs liberally. We're sit at the table and help the kids with homework kind of people. We believe in volunteering in the classroom, chaperoning field trips, and being completely connected to our children's education. We believe that raising them is our greatest calling and we will not sacrifice our time with them for anything. Period. We spend long summer days at the pool, often slurping Sonic slushes on the way home.We read the Bible, classic literature and fantasy stories together. (Well, to be completely honest, Lori reads them classic literature and Troy reads them fantasy stories.) We teach honesty and integrity. We try to model love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We fail. We say sorry. We ask for forgiveness. We show our children as much of the world as our bank account will allow. We believe in mercy and grace. We believe in dreaming big.

We're in love. Not brand new, explosive fireworks love but the kind of love that says, "I see you. I know you. I choose you. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow." Love is not always easy but we are in it for the long haul and there's no where we'd rather be than in each other's arms. We are committed to one another, committed to our family, committed to love and committed to our relationship with Christ.

We are an open adoption family. No question is off limits. No emotion is deemed inappropriate. We encourage our son to talk as much as he wants to about his birth family. We tell him everything we can. He knows he is abundantly loved by all four of his parents. We've talked about adoption from day one and we keep talking about it because it is his story and his heritage. He is 100% our son, 100% their son, and 100% loved. We honor his birth family because we love them and because no words could ever describe how thankful we are that they chose us.

We are joy and thankfulness and pride and love.

We have been raising children for nearly nine years. Once upon a time, we thought our family was complete and we were content. Then, God gave us a deep desire for another child. We lost our daughter to stillbirth and, while that was an incredibly difficult and grief-filled experience, we know that we will meet her one day in Heaven. We long for our family to be completed here on earth with another daughter. Our tender-hearted boys pray every night for a sister.

They are ready. They are so in love with the idea of her already. They are really incredible little people and they will be amazing big brothers. Matthew will teach her the joy of adoption and they will have one another to share the experience with. Garrett will hold both of them under his wide, protective wings.

We are ready. We pray every day for our daughter.We eagerly await her arrival. We trust in God's timing just as we did when we waited through infertility treatment for our firstborn, just as we did as we waited to be matched with our second boy, just as we wait to meet our daughter in Heaven.

We are so thankful for you and the choice you have made to give your baby life. We know that the choice to place her comes with anguish and sorrow but we know that it comes from the fact that you love her with every fiber of your very being. Know that, even now, even without seeing her face or feeling her heartbeat, we love her and we are waiting for her. We will hold wildly and expectantly onto hope.

We are so much more than our resume.


  1. I have been reading your blog for at least 4 years from NY and I don't think I've ever left a comment. I feel compelled to tell you - your letter is WONDERFUL. It should be THE letter that you enclose!!!!

  2. Thanks so much for reading! The letter is being included in our profile. :-)