I don't put all my stock money (HA! As IF I had any money to put into stocks) on the idea of 5 Love Languages, but I do think they're a fun tool to have in navigating our relationships. I wonder how much of them are just built into us and how much of them stem from the way in which we were parented. I mean, my kids have different love languages but I can also look back and see that I catered to them in certain ways when they were really little people. For example, I never wanted to put Matthew down because I was just terrified that, one day, he wouldn't be around for me to hold and love. So even though, as a teeny infant, he was fine being left in his crib, I held him and snuggled him and loved him like he was going out of style. As a four-year-old, if I had to guess, I'd have to say his love language is Touch.
On the flip side, Garrett's love language is Quality Time. But how much of that is the fact that I gave him all of my undivided attention for a two and a half years? Maybe there is some innate quality that leads us to our love language. Or maybe we shape them as parents? I don't know.
I also doubt that there are really only five and that we all fit into nice neat categories. However, that being said, I'm totally an Acts of Service girl. TOTALLY.
I mean, there may as well not be any others.
So yesterday I wasn't feeling well because of the Pretend UTI. Troy took both boys to school, took the cat to the vet, picked both boys up from school and shampooed the carpet. What was I doing while he performed all of these duties? I was becoming one with my bed. I mean, sure, I was working Bible studies and speaking things and retreats, but I really didn't get up much. At one point I managed to move down the stairs. I found him cleaning the carpet and I said, "Nothing makes me love you more than when you're cleaning carpets." Although, to be fair, I could change out "cleaning carpets" for "doing dishes, yard work, scrubbing floors" and it would still be true.
I know he loves me when he's trying to make things look better or relieving me of some of my duties. I try to tell him as much so that he knows he's appreciated.
This led to him making a comment about never allowing a man who cleans carpets to enter my house unless he's home as well.
"That's true," I said. There's just no telling where my heart would lie. "We probably also shouldn't hire a gardener."
"Right," he responded.
"Or any kind of handyman."
"Yes. So we're agreed. We don't hire any carpet cleans, gardeners or handymen."
"Well, not if we know what's good for us," I finished.
I'm an Acts of Service kind of girl. Although, if humor was a love language, that's probably what I'd speak.