Sunday, April 22, 2012


He didn't really nap yesterday.

So today it was needed. You could hear it in his whines, see it in the glassy film over his eyes. But he didn't want it.

I offered to climb into bed with him.

It was dark.

The fan was on.

He threw a leg over one of mine and cuddled into my body.

I traced a finger over the bridge of his nose, around one eye, across his forehead, around the other eye. I gently moved it down his cheek, across his lower lip, and up to his forehead again. Repeat.

We stayed that way for a long time. My fingers stopped tracing his face. I nearly fell asleep. He let out a loud sigh and was, otherwise, perfectly still. His eyes didn't flutter.

I watched him sleep.

Then I whispered, "I love you."

His little mouth barely moved as he replied, "I wuv you."

Somewhat startled to find that he wasn't sleeping I smiled and said softly, "Are you still awake?" There was no response. "Matthew, are you sleeping?" Nothing. "Can you open your eyes?" Not a sound. I stayed for several more minutes and he never moved a muscle, never blinked, never made a peep.

"Okay, then." I turned to get off his bed. "I love you."

"I wuv you," he whispered again.

I'm convinced that he was somehow subconsciously responding to me. And my heart is happy.

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