Matthew always turns into a camel just before bed. A camel about to set out on a long journey. Across a desert. A parched camel. This is why he still wears Pull Ups to bed.
Tonight he chugged a bunch of water and then still wanted to drink from the faucet when I brushed his teeth. After several long slurps from the running water, I turned it off. "I want more!" He told me.
"Dude," I said, "you've had enough. You're going to flood your diaper."
"Yeah, Matthew," his brother chimed in. "You're going to get drunk."
"What?" I asked.
"He's gonna get drunk."
Stifling my laughter I questioned, "Drunk? How?"
"By drinking too much water," Garrett told me like I was an idiot.
"Honey, you get drunk from drinking alcohol and Matthew hasn't had any of that." Because that's all I need, my five-year-old running around telling people that his little brother got drunk.