So this blog isn't intended to be the "List Everything My Son Ever Does Implying That Since Becoming His Mother The World Decided To Revolve Around Him Blog" but it seems that it's going there anyway. To a certain degree, my world does spin on the axis of Garrett. I wake up when he wakes up, which is getting earlier and earlier (note to Garrett: Stop that please!), I play on his floor when he plays, I generally even eat when he eats. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, that's why this blog always talks about him. So, yesterday afternoon he was rubbing his eyes so I plopped him in his crib. He never actually slept, just sat in there playing with his blankets. (I know this because we have a video monitor http://www.albeebaby.com/suinhacovimo.html and it's the best thing ever.) After playing he stood up and made little happy noises for awhile so I left him in there. Suddenly the happy noises turned to very mad noises. These weren't, "Come get me now thank you very much" noises...they were "I am dying where is my mommy to save me this minute" noises. But, I mean, he was standing up so what could possibly be the problem? In any case I wandered in to his room. There he stood...seemingly fine. I went to pick him up and that's when I realized the problem. He wouldn't budge. His knee was bent and protruding out of the crib. It wouldn't even begin to move in any direction. What we had was a baby affixed to his bed--SCREAMING. I tried to wiggle it loose. Wailing. I tried to push it back from whence it came. Severe shrieking. Finally I walked away from the situation altogether.
To get the phone. To call my husband. To see if he had any bright ideas. His phone went straight to voice mail.
I thought about buttering his leg but it was so stuck that I just didn't know how that would work.
I tried pulling the two offending bars as hard as I could and telling Garrett to pull his leg out. (FYI: At 13 months, they glare at you like you're part of the problem and keep yelping. They don't follow the command at all.)
I tried pulling the two offending bars as hard as I could and using my chin to push his leg back through.
I thought of sawing off one of the bars but if God ever blesses us with another baby I don't really want a huge hole in the crib compliments of Garrett's knee. I decided this would be a last resort.
I briefly thought of calling the fire department but figured that I'd never live that one down. I filed it in the back of my mind to be contemplated if all else failed and I still didn't want to break out the saw...being that I didn't actually want to drive to the ER and explain that my son had lacerations because he got in the way.
I did not think of lotion...which would have been much cleaner than butter. I only just now came up with that one as I went through the mental checklist of all I had thought of.
Finally I decided to gently try wiggling it one more time. By now the sobbing had slowed. I think he realized I was trying to help and decided to assist me by calming the vocal chords...unlike animals who, when stuck in traps will generally be very surly with the humans trying to free them. Perhaps the fact that he had relaxed some is what did it. I pulled back on a layer of chub and his little knee popped right back inside the crib with the rest of him.
Today he has tiny bruises from wrestling with his bed.
It's not the first time he's been stuck in it. I'm sure it won't be the last.