Trash Collector

My 15 month old son has a compulsion to throw ALL THE THINGS away. To be fair, he has no earthly idea that the trash disappears and never, ever comes back. He just thinks the large plastic tub is another storage bin. Still, I've opened the lid of that can to find:

Dozens of packets of oatmeal

Matchbox cars

Water bottles

Sippy Cups

A box of aluminum foil

Dish towels

(partial list)

One day, in the not so distant past, our wee broom and dust pan disappeared. "Where could it be?" we four asked one another in confusion. It's a dust pan and broom. It does not grow legs and walk away. We searched high and low, low and high before declaring it gone forever. There was simply nowhere that an object of its size could be hidden. Will must have thrown it away. I have no idea how many other items have been tossed without my knowledge. 

This past weekend, with my parents visiting, Will disposed of three of his beloved Weebles (the kind that wobble but don't fall down). We searched in cabinets and under furniture. We dug through bins of toys and drawers of clothing. At one point, there were four adults and two elementary school children simultaneously hunting for Willy, Winston, and Wendy Weeble. One of those elementary aged children claimed to have looked in the trash can not once but twice. However, upon an adult searching the receptacle, the missing Weebles were discovered. This was splendid good news because the Weeble family and their tree house just happen to be at the top of the list of Will's most favorite toys.

My mother suggested a locking trash can so that nothing too terribly important got hauled off to the dump. My brother and sister-in-law have one so she knew just what to look for. Off we went in search of a wastebasket that was smarter than my toddler. She texted my sister-in-law. "Where did you get your locking trash can?" My sister-in-law replied, "Tessie or Will? I'm guessing Will." You don't have to live near family to have a finger on the pulse of their circumstances. Also, they have a two-year-old. She said she'd gotten it at Walmart or Target. We couldn't find any locking cans at Walmart but Target didn't disappoint.

Meet my new trash can. 

Will is HIGH energy. He's into everything. He screams like a crazed banshee when he doesn't get his way and I've told many a teacher that he's going to be the kid who needs his own private desk in the corner and, maybe, Ritalin. I'm joking. Maybe. I hope. But the thing about that kid is that he has a mechanical mind. I know it's a weird thing to notice about a toddler but he observes the way things work. He watches his brothers do things. He tries to copy them. I recently discovered that he knows how to unscrew bottle caps which I happen to think is COMPLETELY NUTS for a kid who doesn't even regularly say, "Mama."

That kid marched over to the new trash can. He tried to open the lid and inside I laughed a maniacal and somewhat evil laugh. "Muahahahahahahaha!" His grand plans to throw away ALL THE THINGS was foiled at last. Will dropped to his hands and knees. He peered, quizzically, at the foot pedal. He looked behind and beside the trash can. He stood back up. Examining the lid, he ran his hand around the lip. Then he placed both hands on the locking latch and pulled. That happens to be the exact way to open the trash can. He is mighty but he is still quite small and even the bigger boys have to pull pretty hard to get the lock to open. Will was unable to muster enough force to actually succeed. But I'm convinced that, had he been strong enough, he would have figured out that trash can in approximately three minutes.

This leads me to believe that he will grow up to be a mechanic or an engineer or a rocket scientist. But, it is ENTIRELY possible that he wants to be a trash collector.