I was with first graders all day on Monday and I was with them all day today and I'll be there again tomorrow and I might be there on Tuesday because their teacher's father passed away. The bad part--aside from, of course, the obvious--is that Monday was their very first day of school. So, see, the thing is, by the time their teacher comes back, they'll have been with me more than they've been with her and that's just a strange thing to think about when you're six and trying to figure out the whole school thing.
So today I said the words, "I was with crazy first graders all day long so stop acting like a crazy first grader even though you are one because I've had quite enough and you need to stop crying because mom can only take so much first grade drama in a day." Or something like that. Don't quote me.
Because my first grader DOES NOT WANT TO DO HIS HOMEWORK. AT ALL. The kid never complained in kindergarten. Sure he'd come home and do his homework for the entire week on Monday without a negative word. Now? Now he cries his ever loving head off over ten minutes of math and twenty minutes of reading because, "BUT I'VE ALREADY BEEN IN SCHOOL FOR SEVEN HOURS!"
I get it.
Today I told a kid that he needed to take fewer than eight minutes in the bathroom. The next time he went I swear it was longer. The third time I finally stood outside the bathroom after six minutes and said, "Seriously, what are you doing in there?"
The answer, screamed for all the school to hear, was, "I'M WIPING MY BUTT, OKAY?"
My bad for asking.
He walked out thirty seconds later.
"Did you wash your hands?" I asked, considering all the butt wiping.
"Yes!" he snapped.
"With soap?" I questioned.
He turned abruptly and headed back in, "Whoops."
So, yeah, I get it. First grade is long and then there's homework and sometimes you forget to wash your hands. But we're all going to power through. Those first graders will get their teacher back and she can deal with eight minute trips to the bathroom.
And my first grader will power through.