Thursday, September 28, 2006

Giants in the Sky

There are giants in the sky. There are big tall terrible giants in the sky.When you're way up high and you look below at the world you left and the things you know, little more than a glance is enough to show you just how small you are...

It's true. I'm not a fan of Into the Woods. I had a bad experience. I pretty much hate the fact that it should be over at intermission and isn't. I hate most of the songs. It's not that I can do better, Sondheim, because clearly I can't. So don't think that's what I'm saying. I hate the princes. I hate Agony. I hate the Baker, but that topic probably ought to be reserved for a therapy session somewhere down the road. Sometime when I drudge up misplaced and unadulterated loathing. And I hate fishing line and actors who flip out at stage crew when their props are missing. But aside from hating Into the Woods, I appreciate it on the grandoise level that Broadway demands. Which is why I find it humorous that middle schools attempt such a show. And why, when my students suggested that we take it on (not this side of Hades, guys, we'd only embarrass ourselves, I promise) I nearly choked on my own tongue. But it's got me thinking. It's got me thinking about Milky White. Man I loved that cow. Another topic for therapy I suppose. I loved Kristin in the giant Peep dress because it was like when you dress a tomboy up on Easter and make them wear a bonnet. Not that Kristin is a tomboy at all and not that there was a bonnet but you'd know what I mean if you saw the dress. I think, perhaps, the Queen of England would have looked like a tomboy in it. And I love Giants in the Sky. Probably because I love Jack. Probably because I love Matt. Not in a "let's get married even though we both already are and have three sons between the two of us" kind of way, more in a "because I knew you, I have been blessed" kind of way. But I really, really did love Giants in the Sky. And I still do. And it's kind of how I feel right now.

It's kind of like I realize now how idealistic we all are in high school. I'm still idealistic. I'm just not that idealistic. And it's kind of like I'm up in that sky. And it's kind of like I'm looking down. And it's kind of like just a glance...a seven year glance since high enough to show me just how small I am. I'm not the next star. I am just a dime a dozen. What my degree has gotten me is a handful of high schoolers as idealistic as I once was...perhaps more so. But I'm just glad to have the opportunity to direct their idealism, because that's more than most people get to do in the theatre. (I'm just, not going to direct Into the all)

And the thing is...I'm not even sure I would want it anymore. Sure the money would be swell and sure I wouldn't turn down the notoriety but I've been to New York. And I've been to LA. And I've seen the hollow eyes with the blank stares of the ones who want it so bad that they can't make friends with the ones they plan to step on. And I've seen the twinkling eyes of my son. And I wouldn't trade him for a world of fame and fortune. Not for a second. But still, I guess a part of me wishes I could live in between. In between the idealism and the cynicism. In between the way I was and the way I am. In between the hope of my youth and the hope of my son's. Somewhere in the world I never thought to explore.

...The roof, the house and the world you never thought to explore. And you think of all of the things you've seen, and you wish that you could live in between, and you're back again, only different than before, after the sky. There are Giants in the sky! There are big tall terrible awesome scary wonderful Giants in the sky!

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