tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post3681486565021185453..comments2023-10-18T08:58:33.389-06:00Comments on Livin' in a Fishbowl: In Response...Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09612681279996237855noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-50458061591884193042010-01-28T13:21:30.868-07:002010-01-28T13:21:30.868-07:00I have been reading your blog for some time from t...I have been reading your blog for some time from the perspective of an adoptive mom, having over the last nine years adopted domestically, transracially, now internationally from Haiti, and having experienced failed adopted plans and an adoption reclaim along the way. I am also a ministry wife and mother. All this to say that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am so very sorry you've had to experience such an unkind attack in the midst of it all. May God protect, bless, guide and comfort your family as you seek His will.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03603244678280067360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-4313650915001568762010-01-27T20:52:34.689-07:002010-01-27T20:52:34.689-07:00A mothers love knows no color or culture!!!
Matthe...A mothers love knows no color or culture!!!<br />Matthews birth mother chose YOU ANT TROY, to love and raise him. I dont know how this will all end, and I pray for you daily, but the adoption should never be based on race. No matter the culture (and I have both in my family) a child needs love, family, faith, and a place to fall, something I know will be provided for him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-40330821031290358612010-01-25T15:26:44.352-07:002010-01-25T15:26:44.352-07:00Stay strong and know that there are far more posit...Stay strong and know that there are far more positive people out there that know and love and admire you. I taught day care for 25 plus years and am a firm believer that nuture plays a far larger part in a childs live than nature does. And I know the kind of nuturing that sweet child is receiving from you and Troy, Garrett, your family and your extended church family. Your are in my prayers. SallyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-9322511437401227032010-01-25T09:55:58.478-07:002010-01-25T09:55:58.478-07:00Totally off subject here... Lori, even though you ...Totally off subject here... Lori, even though you know who "J" is, no one else does. I don't want to be lumped into the detested "anonymous poster" category :) so I'm going to have to brave the Google world and see if I can post that way. Joanna<br /><br />(I'll have to brave it another day, I need to track down my password!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-56207435774133994892010-01-25T00:34:57.889-07:002010-01-25T00:34:57.889-07:00Lori, you are a wonderful mother...and just an inc...Lori, you are a wonderful mother...and just an incredible person in general. God has a plan...and we will continue to pray for Matthew and your entire family!<br />xoxoZ-Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11904237873540913536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-13939814231425483932010-01-24T22:35:27.248-07:002010-01-24T22:35:27.248-07:00Lori,
You are doing exacty what "your God&quo...Lori,<br />You are doing exacty what "your God" wants you to do. That is to take care of Matthew and love him everyday. He is your son and you are amazing parents. I admire your strength and pray for you everyday. Stay strong!!!<br />Love<br />~~Trish~~Hotshot's Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07373567169306597760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-19880085773476140702010-01-24T20:28:24.948-07:002010-01-24T20:28:24.948-07:00Cling to the truth, my friend. You handle things ...Cling to the truth, my friend. You handle things with so much grace...Allinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-34056064793783989032010-01-24T20:12:54.153-07:002010-01-24T20:12:54.153-07:00I'll start by saying that I don't know you...I'll start by saying that I don't know you personally, but I have been following your blog, and was struggling about whether to post a comment or not, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I would say to you if we knew each other personally.<br />What struck me the most is what my reaction would have been. What would have been going through my mind. First I wouldn't want to tell you to notice the amount of comments of support and love that you are receiving. Of the people who are coming to your defense. And then look at the one in a thousand comments you receive in opposition to you. I personally would loose sleep over the one in a thousand comments...because those words would stay with me, but do you want to know what those comments are...they are words from the enemy trying to tear you down and make you doubt that what you are doing and where you are is exactly where the Lord wants you to be. So call on the name of the Lord for your strength and don't allow the enemy room in your thoughts. Put on your armor girl...God will take care of the rest.Joanna Reynoldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14309755988877466217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-67446552497202348222010-01-24T17:51:50.573-07:002010-01-24T17:51:50.573-07:00There are no words that can describe the admiratio...There are no words that can describe the admiration I have for you and your family. Your faith is amazing and you are a great example of what it means to be a Christian.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04539932623643707068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-76538903979506755222010-01-24T17:36:52.980-07:002010-01-24T17:36:52.980-07:00I don't recall how I found your blog, but your...I don't recall how I found your blog, but yours is one of my favorites. You inspire me with your faith, taking joy in the simple things in life, honest parenting and especially your integrity. I commend you on taking the high road and writing openly about those comments. I hope you can brush them off and feel the warmth from all us who think so much of you. Your boys are truly blessed!Better Late Than Neverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12196642959869184074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-74992976209519814152010-01-24T16:20:26.403-07:002010-01-24T16:20:26.403-07:00Obviously VHM is as uninformed as the last nasty c...Obviously VHM is as uninformed as the last nasty commenter. Matthew, (the name his birth mother put on his birth certificate), was NEVER taken from his birth mother. She chose Lori and Troy and continues to choose them today. The comment about not understanding the African-American culture and their desire to raise their children was ridiculous. This is not about color. This is about whether or not Matthew is in the BEST place he can be to insure he grows up to be a good MAN. Not a black man or a white man, but a MAN. Without knowing any facts about the case VHM is the one who made it about race. Don't even get me started about the comment that states that Lori and Troy have tricked themselves into believing that God wants exactly what they want, because NOTHING could be further from the truth. Our entire family is painfully aware that we have absolutely no idea how this case will turn out. I have never even heard Lori or Troy ask for people to pray for anything other then what is in Matthew's best interest. <br /><br />Lori, delete, delete, delete. The enemy is loving all the wasted energy that we are all putting into commenting on the two negative posts instead of turning our focus to praying about God's perfect will and Matthew's future.<br /><br />Give my precious little grandson a kiss for me! <br /><br />momGinnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15742555137233980273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-67628088641282230122010-01-24T15:36:11.132-07:002010-01-24T15:36:11.132-07:00Lori,
I was very tempted to go into a long-winded...Lori,<br /><br />I was very tempted to go into a long-winded response to VHM, but I realize it does nothing but fuel the fire. I have a very difficult time not getting nasty right back. These sorts of comments are not only hurtful and hateful, but also completely USELESS. I personally would not view it as weak or scared of them if you just deleted them. You have the support of hundreds of people who love you, respect you, and admire you. Thank you for your example of faith that we are able to see daily through your words. If others cannot see that, please, just delete them. Click them back into the anonymous holes they climbed out of. Don't even dignify them with their comments being allowed to be viewed by anyone. Stay strong and stay faithful.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />YOUR SON'S UNCLEJonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-40370399624834002522010-01-24T15:27:41.174-07:002010-01-24T15:27:41.174-07:00Oh, Lori, I'm so sorry that there are people w...Oh, Lori, I'm so sorry that there are people who are saying such hurtful things to you. I hope you know that all of the people who actually KNOW you (and know more about the situation than you've been able to say on your blog) fully support you. You are absolutely doing the right thing, and not just for yourself or Matthew, but also for the birth mother.<br /><br />From my own perspective, it is extremely important to honor the wishes of the birth mother. Since it is a woman’s legal right to choose whether or not to terminate a pregnancy, it should at least be equally possible for her to choose adoption. Otherwise, she really doesn’t have much of a choice at all. Therefore, not only do I support Lori and Troy on a personal level, but on a political level I also see this as a fight for the reproductive rights of women. For women to be truly in control of their own reproduction, they must be able to choose not only whether or not to have children, but also who will raise the children they do have. Without going into any details that shouldn't be made public, I think that “VHM” should be corrected: Matthew was not "taken away" from his mother—the adoption was HER decision, and, as far as I know, continues to be her decision. So, by supporting Lori and Troy, I choose to stand in solidarity with the birth mother, who I do not personally know, but whose rights I respect. <br /><br />I had a lot of angry things to say to your detractors, Lori, but I'll follow your good example and not say them. Suffice to say that I think every one of them has revealed in their comments how little they know or understand about your case. Please be assured that you are doing the right thing. And you are very, very loved!Kellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237595362118713178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-29348904949951554212010-01-24T15:05:19.479-07:002010-01-24T15:05:19.479-07:00Lori, I would like to tell you how upset I am with...Lori, I would like to tell you how upset I am with those nasty comments. You have more class in your little finger than others have in their entire body. It is not like you went for or after Matthew, the BM CHOSE you. I believe you have the spiritual strength of a saint to be able to overlook those hurtful comments. If you would have responded, you would have given them exactly what they were after - a confrontation.<br /><br />I love you guys and will continue to pray for you.<br /><br />Chris :)HilsGalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08123275102527722399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-77257394419892312092010-01-24T14:05:52.646-07:002010-01-24T14:05:52.646-07:00I follow your blog and pray for your family every ...I follow your blog and pray for your family every time I think of you. I always walk away from reading a post in awe of your trust and your daily discarded fear about the future for your family. In response to the comment "you've tricked yourself into believing that your God wants exactly what you want."- I just am in awe that this person can't see your clearly stated idea that you DON'T know what God's will is (yet), that you HOPE it will be what you want, but you TRUST it is what is best for Matthew. Just keep hitting delete!Teresita Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12399167425409854324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-38978319035525607242010-01-24T12:06:03.115-07:002010-01-24T12:06:03.115-07:00You're awesome. You're not letting the ene...You're awesome. You're not letting the enemy tear apart the works God is doing in your heart. Keep loving, keep praying, and keep sharing.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04912626974176072604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-75784207874200398342010-01-24T11:50:12.531-07:002010-01-24T11:50:12.531-07:00I'm so sorry that people wrote anonymously and...I'm so sorry that people wrote anonymously and only wish that they had the guts to post with their real names. The part that struck me in your note today is that you are caught between a rock and a hard place. And, the only thing to do now is do your best for the child.<br /><br />Some people WOULD rather have Matthew in foster care rather than be cared for by any one who is not African-American. <br /><br />I'm so sorry that people are reducing Matthew (a lovely name from the Bible) to his race rather than the wonderful, lovely little boy that he is. He is much, much more.<br /><br />Many blessings to you, your family, the BM and the BF (who are hurting too) for the courts to look impartially at this situation.Lori G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02167055316077502640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-57045404946480243402010-01-24T11:03:12.945-07:002010-01-24T11:03:12.945-07:00This is getting ridiculous. I read this blog beca...This is getting ridiculous. I read this blog because it gives me almost daily updates about my family who I don’t get to see very often as we live twelve hours apart. I read it so I can watch my nephews grow up, and hear about their accomplishments and challenges. I read it so I can know what to pray for regarding Matthew’s situation. I read it because it’s personal to me. What I can’t understand, is why people who either don’t know Lori or her family, or who haven’t become invested in her family or in Matthew’s story in some way through her blogging, bother to read or leave comments. More than that, where do these people get the time to do so? Please, enlighten me, because I never seem to have enough time in a day to take care of what needs to be done, let alone what I want to do, and I certainly don’t have enough time to go around reading and commenting on people’s blogs of whom I don’t know or don’t care about. We’ve all considered the possibility that Matthew will have to leave one day, and I know no one has thought longer or harder about that than Lori and Troy, so don’t flatter yourself by thinking it is your responsibility, or anyone else's for that matter, to give “loving warnings”.Heathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-69149722342733040932010-01-24T11:01:44.689-07:002010-01-24T11:01:44.689-07:00stay strong, troy and lori. stay focused on God an...stay strong, troy and lori. stay focused on God and don't allow the enemy to worm his way into your hearts via hurtful words. obviously a lot of people have their own opinions on this matter, but please know that the people who love you and pray for you and care about you are here to tell you that you are doing the right thing. (((BIG VIRTUAL HUGS!)))heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06693901431333983890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-14553363730384994612010-01-24T09:55:32.633-07:002010-01-24T09:55:32.633-07:00The term you're looking for is "attached....The term you're looking for is "attached." The boy you've named Matthew (such a culturally sensitive name) "bonded" to his first mother during the 9 1/2 months inside her body, plus any moments he was allowed to have with her before being taken away. He can form attachments to other people -- hopefully healthy ones -- but bonding is different.<br /><br />Another point I would like to make is that fathers are parents too. The original father's family made it clear to you that they want to parent their own flesh and blood. If you knew much of anything about the African-American culture, you would know how important this is: for the child, the family, and the community.<br /><br />It seems to me that you've tricked yourself into believing that your God wants exactly what you want. Please consider the possibility that He has sent others who have walked Matthew's path to tell you His true thoughts on the matter. Consider the responses you DON'T like to be loving warnings.VHMnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-30230356846747923552010-01-24T08:46:25.244-07:002010-01-24T08:46:25.244-07:00Oh Lori, I'm sorry about the comment. I saw o...Oh Lori, I'm sorry about the comment. I saw one of them yesterday and read it out loud to my partner - we both got so angry and here you sit, giving "them" the time of day by responding like the wonderful person you are. I admit, I'm a deleter. You're a much bigger person than I. But they don't know you. They don't know the BF. They don't deserve your attention - let alone, your pain. <br />Big love to your family from ours.Kerinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-40482074593890054212010-01-24T06:24:51.212-07:002010-01-24T06:24:51.212-07:00Lori, I am sorry you have received these hurtful ...Lori, I am sorry you have received these hurtful comments. Those people have obviously not read the whole story. You and your husband are doing the right thing for Matthew. Keep doing what you're doing. Caring for that little boy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-81464255357541100692010-01-24T06:17:51.738-07:002010-01-24T06:17:51.738-07:00also here is a direct email
claredonpal@gmail.comalso here is a direct email<br />claredonpal@gmail.comclarenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-86789153876610087962010-01-24T05:55:31.905-07:002010-01-24T05:55:31.905-07:00I'm proud to be able to take credit for the An...I'm proud to be able to take credit for the Anonoymous comment written the other day. I had to open a google account to be able to comment at all and just was so anxious to post at all I clicked on what was most likely to reach you. My name is Clare and hopefully this time you will be able to contact me if you want.Clarenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-961259802208415232.post-73288703289736873562010-01-24T00:04:43.792-07:002010-01-24T00:04:43.792-07:00Lori,
Just in case you don't know it, you'...Lori, <br />Just in case you don't know it, you're an amazing person. You have an amazing family that you would do anything for. Obviously, adoptive parent (Ethiopia) doesn't have a clue as to what the facts are and what you've gone through. This isn't about who has what skin color. It takes more than biology to make a FATHER. If she knew you, she would know that when (and if) she grows up some day, she will want to be just like you. I love you and pray for you, Troy, Garrett, and especially Matthew. May God give you continued strength. <br />Love, Aunt VickiVickihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14221561567232423157noreply@blogger.com